Lust.

Unravelling Lust.

There was a time were falling in love was the best felling to be in . For me, it was like waking up and going back to bed the thoughts of his plan nuisance , the shine in his eyes and smirk of his lips were the resting images recorded in my head. Where counting months and proclaiming your man was an accomplishment ,where the conversations could never run out, where riding with him was the station of elation , where my love was true enough to hold the statement like a shout in the void .

But now this second, travelling this weary gap of adolescence have succumbed my deterioting belief of the stability in a relationship. So timid! The feelings aren't daulting anymore .I have the erratic illusion of bad Endings. Why? This is the weight in my soul I have been carrying around all this time. The pure deadly sin of lust has conquered my soul , my body I presume. It has like every touch generates the velocity of a timeless fireworks unquenchable until the lights come back. When everytime I feel your lips wrapped around mine, some mellow kisses on my neck, My soul. The vibrations like a stone thrown into a pond. Lust has overcomed my desire to be romantically involved with him but in a way that's what I want. I keep telling myself that's what people are supposed to label it as. Love. The general obligation of pouring out each others feelings to each other and the mutual confession. Isn't that when people crave to desire each others body? Isn't that what I did some years back. So why is it so difficult to return the feelings and term it mutual enough to satisfy him the best way that I can. To give all of my body all of me to him , to my man. So why in the world is it the other way around for me ? Now? why can't I locate the love inside of me and tell him , tell him its okay I recogise you as my lover. Its never enough. But its like the weight of his body against mine is still burning inside of me . The personification of each others body is what quenched our thirst. My nails that dug on him to stop him from forbidding some territory that marks the valley someone can never pass. I justifly my reason of virginity. My shaggy crumbled hair immunes to my action unaware of the tangled mess it's getting into rubbing on the soft mattress . He desires my body in such a way that I cannot help but give nothing. Nothing but what I have him already . My lips red and my tongue dry from tasting each others favor and indulging like there's no tomorrow. My hands reach out to the back of his neck and has he envelopes my body around his, all I can do is take in the power of lust and moan . Our body changed its prospective in such a way that the defition of love is ours now. Everthing changed once our hungry lips collided with each other. He says ' I love you' and I lose my impotent . Like a blank space never atoned to fill . The script of our physical shenanigans plays repetitively as the breeze hits my face and I am as frivolous as the street coming to my vision.