"Don't worry about me" [Satori Tendou x Reader]

1

             You tried to focus on the TV in front of you. You were painfully aware of everything around you as you tried to build up the courage to tell your boyfriend everything. The beating of Tendou's heart as you laid on his chest was far more steady than your heart which was beating a little too fast. He began to notice your fidgety behavior, curling, bending, and cracking your fingers. 

"Um.. babe?" he starts, startling you. He sits up against the head of the couch, looking down at you. You also get up, sitting properly on the couch to look at him. "You alright?". His worried expression was enough to send another wave of panic to your head.

"Yeah, I just-" You struggle to find the right words, looking down at your hands fidgeting again. "Come on, you can tell me." he reassures. Tendou moves to sit right next to you, confused and concerned when you immediately get up. You stand up in front of him, beginning to pace back and forth. 

"Okay so, you know how we've been together for like.. almost a year now." "Yeah, 11 months." He hums in agreement. As good as he is at reading people, he still can't figure out what it is that's bothering you which makes his concern grow.

"Yeah and like... I've told you a lot about me. Like, you know me better than a lot of people." A nervous, sort of awkward chuckle escapes him as he tries to give you eye contact. He fails due to you not standing still and not being able to look him in the face. "Yes, I'm pretty sure I've figured out a lot about you without you having to tell me."

"Oh okay, so um you know about like, my mental health and stuff.". The small smile that was on his face a few moments ago has now faded back into a worried expression. "Yeah and you've made a lot of progress with getting better. Is something wrong now? Are you okay? Do you need any-"

"No no, don't worry." You walk up closer to him, leaning down to kiss his forehead but instead, Tendou pulls you down into his lap, arms tightly holding you. You don't know if this is helping you calm down or making you more anxious but you decide to stay seated in his lap. 

"I don't want you to worry.. I promise it's nothing bad. Well it's not bad now." His head that was previously in the crook of your neck, tilts up for him to look into your eyes. They look glossy, shining as they fill with tears that you try to hold back. It takes everything in him to keep tears from filling his eyes as well at the sight. "Okay, you can tell me." "... if you want." he says after a long pause.

"Okay so um, you already know about my depression even though you've made me feel a lot, like a lot better." You say before planting a kiss on his cheek. "It used to be really bad before we met and it kinda led to me... you know." You urge Tendou to loosen his grip around you as you shift in his lap. Taking a deep breath, you lift the sleeve of your, well his hoodie, and turn the inside of your wrist to face upwards. "Please don't worry though. I promise these are from a long time ago, baby. I don't want you to worry about me, I swear I'm fine." You stop rambling when you look at him, his gaze examining the lines on your wrist. The lines vary from short ones to longer ones, to ones that seem a bit darker than the rest. He observes the scars, noticing which part of your arm had the deepest wounds to the ones that were almost invisible. Nervous tears start to swell up in your eyes again until you notice he looks back up at you.

"Wanna see mine?"

"Huh?!"

You look at him confused. His arms make their way back around you but instead of stopping at your waist, he moves them in front of you. He starts to lift his sleeve up and looks up at you. Your mouth falls slightly open as you look down to see scars of his own. He chuckles a bit as you run a finger across them. They seem to be a bit more extreme than yours in quantity and how dark they are.

"Satori..." "Shh." He gives you a quick kiss on the side of your mouth. "You told me not to worry, so you can't worry about me."

"But I never even knew.. I'm pretty sure you had an idea that it was a possibility for me." You look down at him for confirmation. "Yeah but I wasn't 100% sure." "But I still had no idea about yours... or your mental health." Guilt starts to consume you as you think about all the times Tendou has taken care of you. Making sure you're getting enough sleep, eating properly and not overworking your mind or body. Yet you had no idea that he could even have depression. You move off his lap to sit on the couch, right beside him, When you face him, you see a smile on his face. A smile that you'll never get tired of seeing. Tendou smiles everyday, joking around constantly and making sure the people around him are just as happy as he seems to be.

"I mean, having to deal with assholes at school and at home is a pain but it's not that bad." he says with a laugh. You want to laugh with him but the only expression you're able to give is a frown that accompanies the tears that run down your face.

"Don't cry, baby." He moves to wrap his arms around you, his hand moving up and down your arm. "Don't worry about me, okay?" He begins to pepper your forehead with kisses, letting you cry in his arms. As gently as possible, Tendou picks you up slightly, placing you gently against the head of the couch to lay down, in the position he once was in. He lays down between your legs, rubbing your thighs as you settle down. He looks back up at you and you give a weak smile, wiping away the last of your tears. "Satori." "Hm?" "I really wanna be there for you.. and help you like you help me"

You bring your hands down to his hair, running them through his red locks as he sighs. "But.." "No buts." "Okay fine, as long as I get to continue making my princess happy." 

He takes one of your hands from his hair, bringing it down further. Lifting your sleeve up once more, he presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist, intertwining your fingers with his.

"Your happiness comes first."