Poetry 2020-2021

The truth about apologies

A free writing poem. Written by AnneBelle Justice

The truth about apologies is that they are never easy, the truth about apologies is that they are ugly. But in their ugliness, is found beauty, for there is no greater love than an apology. When an apology is made, someone's soul has been laid bare. When an apology is made, they're telling you that they care. When an apology is made, the truth is plain to see, when an apology is made, it's not about you, but me. I know what I've done wrong, I see the darkness in my soul. I'm telling you I'm sorry, because your forgiveness makes me feel whole. I know that I have hurt you, and I see the pain you hide. I know that I have wounded you, but it's not your pain that's inside. It's not just your pain you are feeling, but also the pain inside of me. Because it was my actions that hurt you, actions made when I didn't feel free. I did not feel free in my soul, from the pain we both now feel. I have made my apology, so that we both can heal. Because whether or not you accept it, that is your choice to make. But because I have apologized, I have freed my heart from the snake. That snake is called depression, sorrow, hatred, and loss. That snake is all the evil things, that this life has tossed. This life tosses us challenges, and sometimes pains we cannot bear. But when we use that pain to wound others, that just isn't fair. And so my love, that's why you'll see, from the bottom of my heart. I have made my apology, please make it a fresh start, allow us to start over, allow me to try again, because without apologies, there's no way love can win. If we do not apologize when we hurt people we love, if we do not apologize there is no hope above. If we do not apologize then our souls will never be free, and that is why my apology is not just for you, but also me. I am truly sorry for all the things I've done, and I will spend each and every day, under the blistering sun. Working on the garden that grows inside my soul, and only true forgiveness can help me to feel whole. The weeds have overtaken my garden, and I'm wounding people with the thorns, and it's a painful process, and I've plenty time to mourn. Mourn the loss of the flowers that once bloomed inside my soul, but if I can forgive me, it will help me to feel whole. The truth about apologies is that not one person was wrong, the other right, the truth about apologies is they are owed to all that fight. Because an apology is not a sign of weakness, but strength, I've apologized to you, and freed myself from that snake. And forgiveness is not about just forgiving you, but me forgiving me, and that's what makes me free.