It is time for the eulogy, and the church's most senior elder goes up to speak. Elder Right knows us all from we were wee babies, particularly Bobby and Dwayne. The elder clears his throat to speak and the church falls quiet. My mind goes back in time...
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In my head, I saw myself grabbing my child from this monster. This man who dropped us like dead weight. I saw myself hitting Bobby hard across the face, how dare he come here after he abandoned us. I saw myself cursing Bobby out and chasing him from mama's home. I saw myself doing all these things and yet...and yet I stood frozen. Speechless. Alaya softened the silence with her giggles. Bobby stood up, walked slowly towards me. His eyes, never leaving mine. When he finally stood before me, he dropped to his knees and pulled me close. Then he bawled. I had never seen Bobby cry before. But that day he sobbed. Loudly. I looked at my mother and brother. Mama had tears in her eyes. Bobby held me, tight. "I am sorry Val!...so sorry babe." He kneeled before me, and Alaya got up and hugged him. It took a long while, before I hugged him too.
Bobby learnt about his daughter from Pastor Donald. So that confirmed it. Everyone knew that Alaya was Bobby's baby. They did not believe the 'I met a guy at the bar story' that I had fed them. No wonder, Alaya, was such a prized possession to the Dickens family. After Bobby cried his heart out, we went outside to talk. He missed his mother. Bobby summed up the last two years as a period of turmoil. He dropped out of school and picked up several odd jobs to survive. He was too embarrassed to return to Dawson. Bobby felt like a great disappointment, and somehow, he thought I deserved better than a lowlife like him...In my head, I am thinking, Bobby went crazy for two years. He totally checked out on us because I could never feel that way about him. He must have been going through some sort of soul purging.
"I have nothing! At twenty-six years old, I have accomplished nothing Val! Because we've lived in Dawson all our lives, we are okay with things but out there in the big city...I... I was just a poor black nobody, and people treated me as such. Some things have changed since the murder of George Floyd and Rayshard Brooks, but a lot hasn't. We've got a far way to go. I didn't realize how difficult things can get until I was out there. Lost." Bobby said, and it jolted me. We were protected by our community here in Albany. We probably didn't care enough about the black struggle. Bobby's brow was creased. His face was one of sorrow.
"You are everything Bobby! You are...you are like the sun. Your life will make the difference someday and you're going to make us all proud to know you." I said.
YOU ARE READING
A Dark Sun
RomanceValerie loved Bobby. Bobby loved Valerie. Everyone in the community knew it, though the two tried to keep their relations secret. They were childhood friends who grew to be lovers. But they were black. And black people can find themselves in the...
