Tronler - should I tell him

Well shit

Tylers pov

Connor left after an awkward tension between him and Troye. Now it was worse, an awkward tension between me and Troye was never good. " I'm thinking about dying my hair blond" I say breaking the silence. " Oh cool" he says staring into his Nutella jar.

" Tyler I don't think I should sleep in your bed tonight." Troye said suddenly. " oh okay " I said realizing he was thinking about Connor. " I'll go grab you some blankets" I say. I walk into my room and grab like six blankets. " Is this enough" I say looking at Troye. He looks at the blankets and nods, not once making eye contact with me. It kind of hurt to be honest, I mean Troye is my best friend and I know why he's mad. I would have probably been mad to if he got a boyfriend, before I had Connor that is. Then my brain just had to go and imagine him with a boyfriend.

Kissing and hugging and going on dates and Troye just finally getting what he deserves. And I really do want that for him.

So when I'm going to my room still imagining this perfect boyfriend for Troye, why do I keep balling and unballing my hands?

And as I lay in bed I start to imagine him with me and how much happier he would be than with that six packed quiffed guy I was imagining him with a second ago.

But I have Connor and even thinking about this is wrong, so i immediately shake the thoughts out of my head.

Yet they still come back. "Well shit" I wisper into the darkness. Maybe I do like Troye. I think about the kiss and... STOP IT TYLER! You have Connor.

Yes yes I do and I love that boy. I just need to get Troye out of my head. Thankfully sleep does that for me. Soon all I know is the blissful sleep of a dark apartment.

Troye's pov

"Well shit" is all I hear in the darkness. It echoes around my aching body. I wonder why for only a second until I am overwhelmed with heart break once again. The thoughts of "almost" only hit me when the lights went out. I wanted Tyler to want me back. Yet Connor the dashing newly openly gay guy, got to him first.

I want things to be back to normal but its so hard for me. Im just going to have to lie about being "happy". Maybe I'm just to ugly and skinny and weak and just awful for Tyler. Im not enough for the perfect boy.

****** TRIGGER WARNING*****************

I get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen. I open the knife drawer and grab a small shiny knife. My new friend. I walk over to the bathroom a silent phantom in the night.

 

I lock the door and look up at my reflection. A broken boy. Silent tears fall down my face. I put the knife to my wrist and... stop. Not tonight not now. When I am truely alone,without Tyler, I might need a "friend".

A/N: HEY GUYS I AM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR NOT UPDATING, I WAS SUPER BUSY AND HAD WRITERS BLOCK . I LOVE YOU. IF YOU GUYS DONT LIKE THE TRIGGER STUFF LET ME KNOW AND I WILL NEVER PUT IT IN AGAIN! I KNOW THIS IS REALLY SHORT BUT IM GOING TO WRITE AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER ALL WEEKEND I PROMISE!!!  I LOVE YOU ALL! OH AND BTW DID YOU KNOW I HAVE OVER 900 READS I WAS CRIEING. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU MY TATER TOTS.

BYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh btw the friend who hacked me also helped write this chapter (she wrote half of Tylers pov)I love her lots so go follow her. Im forcing her to start writeing. She said her name in the hack chapter. Thanks again guys. Luv yah. :)