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Her body ached for just a drip of the apple flavoured alcohol to touch her tongue and take away her pain, it teased and tormented her from it place in her therapists bag as she sat quietly on the comfortable couch waiting for her to speak. Though, Paige knew she wasn't going to speak. There was nothing to talk about, she hadn't relapsed and she felt stronger than ever over the past year.
"Why don't you start off by telling me what happened that night again, okay?" Mrs Angel spoke into the silence of the two, she knew she had broke something inside of Paige when she moved her thin arms uncomfortably in an attempt to say she hadn't wanted to talk about that, the nightmare of a night it had been.
"I don't want to," Paige said as she pulled her sleeves to her sweater onto the palms of her hands and teared her eyes from the alcohol to meet Mrs Angel's blue ones.
That night haunted her, even when she was unconscious in her sleep. Her own mind wanted to remind Paige of how useless she felt when it all happened, how she let go of their bodies when she hung off of the cliff but she still survived. The guilt that tripped her every time she went one day without pill-popping or drinking, she had been sober for months and everyone was proud of her but she didn't feel proud of herself.
"I can't force you into doing anything. This is my job though, Paige," Mrs Angel tapped her pen onto the paper, her eyes keeping on Paige as she watched tears shed onto her smooth cheeks.
Paige opened her mouth to talk, she wiped the tears from off of her cheeks before they dried and became sticky. "I said I don't want to explain," Paige retaliated with a huff, she moved her body from off the couch and started to walk around the room.
"I dropped us. And that's all I'm telling you today," Paige finished off explaining, her eyes glossing over with the familiar water as she remembered the night that haunted her dreams and mind over again. "How did you survive?" Mrs Angel asked, her eyes narrowing as she questioned Paige once again.
"I don't know. Adrenaline?" Paige suggested though it wasn't a fully convincing answer. "But you were passed out, and when the police arrived Hannah and Beth weren't there," Mrs Angel told Paige.
Paige felt as if she had heard the same thing over and over again, because she had. The night lived in her mind freely, the questioning after the night as police thought it was suspicious she was the only one that had survived and nearly passed it off as murder if it wasn't for the bruises that decorated Paige's body from the fall off of the cliff.
"I nearly died," Paige replied, leaning back against the couch as she used them three words repeatedly in ever therapy session she had been given to her from her parent's rules. Them three words were the escape she had, the words were the only way she could get people from off of her back. If she said them, they'll remember the traumatising night for her and eventually leave her alone.
"And you think going back to the place you nearly died is going to help you recover?" Mrs Angel asked before she scribbled down the words Paige had just used, like she did in every therapy session. "I'm already recovered."
She lied. She was recovered physically, not a bruise scared her body but mentally was a whole different story.
