Loud

Eat

I can't eat it's stuck

It's stuck in my throat

And I'm frozen in my chair

I can feel the tears coming they're almost there

She's doing it again

Too skinny, too frail

You don't eat

Stop eating this, eat that

You're skinny

Bones, no meat

A skeleton

Gain weight, gain it

Somehow, some way

They'll laugh she says

They'll laugh at you and point at you

Call you anorexic

But that's what she calls me

Are you anorexic/are you bulimic

You eat and then you throw it up don't you

Even your sister has more, weighs more

But she calls her fat too

So I retreat

Into the room, into the closet

Fist stuffed in my mouth to keep in the sounds

I cry

I cry because again I'm not enough

Because I was feeling okay

Today, today I was okay

I felt pretty, I felt different

Today I felt happy

In my body, in myself

But no

With a razor tongue and venom words

She cuts me down and I fall

Confused, scared

I'm back to where I was before

Hate at my body, at myself, at her