Riding his rusty sheet metal sandwich-board bicycle rigged with magnetic tank armor, beachcombing for 16th century Spanish galleon cannonballs in St. Augustine, Florida, Mr. Bill Bored witnessed a pickup truck, loaded with partiers wearing illegal ski masks, run over a Sunset Jellyfish incapacitated to drag itself back into the tide receding with reiterated hissing.
Quick thinking Mr. Bored flipped out his vintage WWII Ack-Ack AntiAircraft spatula, ran the Jelly to a chest-shaving Lifeguard to perform mouth to mou... to jellyfrill orifice resuscitation.
Mr. Lifeguard turned Deathguard, sprayed SeaScent deodorant to repel Mr. Bored who proceeded to save the Jellyfish's life by stuffing it into a HappyHour fishbowl of Dubious Pop Corncohol Cola he retrieved from his fanny pack, shot-put heaved the whole bowl into the sea.
Anticipated applause was restrained, as was Mr. Bored tackled and tasered by Ninja ATV security patrollers for breaking glass on submerged shells where the blood of a matron's cut foot lured and beached more sharks than a convention of Time-Share Condo con men.
The taser spastic pulsing electrical Mr. Bored eluded his Frankensteinian capture by bowling barnacle encrusted Spanish cannonballs into the legs of frenetic authorities.
Mr. Bored's magnetic metal sandwich-board bicycle was crushed on its attraction of a molten satellite.
Streaming services blacked out statewide. A manhunt is underway.
-- St. Augustine Daily Beach Post.
(Buried in Lorenzo Orzari's BizarriBooks: Mr. Bill Bored's Series of CauseMix MessAdventures.)
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Ego Outside Its Element. Jellyfish Resuscitation.
HumorWhat happens to an ego outside its element? Mr. Bill Bored risks his life to revive an ego.
