Ah, that iconic Ariana Grande meme (or that Jolina Magdangal meme remake that everyone has been blasting on repeat). Its definition and interpretation always differs from person to person, and it's even caused arguments and debates ever since the first person ever questioned about what it was like. And honestly, they really aren't at fault for it. Heaven can always be described as different things. Some (or even most) people describe heaven as a palace filled with free food (yay for unli-wings) and a pain-slash-suffering free environment where in everyone is happy and lives sunshines and rainbows and everyone runs free with our father God Papa Jesus Himself. Trust me, with the world that we're currently living in today, that sounds like a really good idea. But as much as I like to envision myself belonging in that environment someday, I'm still a big healthy boy with big healthy dreams, so dreaming about being with Him's something I'll reserve when I'm in my 60's.
That's also part of the reason why I sometimes find it funny that people envision heaven as a white gleaming palace when my heaven just consists of being with you.
You see, there's really just so many things that make you awfully magnetic. Maybe it's the way those beautiful eyes of yours light up and crinkle whenever you find something you really want to buy on Shopee or when you finally receive something that you've wanted and needed for the longest time (trust me, that anatomy book of yours was worth every single peso) that makes me think that even the brightest of stars in this known and unknown galaxy cannot hope to outshine them, as I willingly succumb myself to thought of just how good seeing your eyes sparkle makes me feel, especially when I'm the reason behind it. Up until now it's such a mystery as to just how much of an effect you have over me. Maybe you can even call me whipped, but hey, I ain't complaining one bit.
Maybe it's also the way I find myself getting lost while staring at you too many times than I could count that makes me wonder to myself as to what heroic deed did I do in my past life to cross paths with someone like you. Maybe it's the way you manage to look so effortlessly ethereal in everything you wear that makes me go crazy every single time you send me those cuteass selfies of yours (wouldn't mind filling my whole storage with them though). I swear, there is nothing more that I'd want than to hype you up and make you feel like you're pretty in everything that you wear because you are beautiful, Jada. Maybe it's also the way I find myself calming down with you on stressful nights filled with deadlines and intense physiology exams that makes me ponder on just how at peace being with you makes me feel. It really isn't an understatement to say that being with you calms me.
Maybe it's the way I keep on finding myself at your sleeping face everytime I stay up late that makes me feel like the luckiest person every to get to see you at your most vulnerable, as I think about how I'd want nothing more than to whisper sweet nothings into your ear that your may or may not remember the next time you wake up. Maybe it's the way your voice sounds so pleasing whenever you talk that makes me think about how good it would sound if my name were to endearingly roll off your tongue. Maybe it's the way your thin, beautiful frame gave me so much warmth as it fit perfectly against mine while your arms were tightly wrapped around my waist for an embrace that made my trip to you so much worth it, and as I buried my head deeper into your neck all I wanted was to make that moment stop and last for a minute or even a second longer.
Maybe it's the way you cry when you're with me when the sad, painful nights do come that makes my heart clench painfully, as I only think about giving you the tightest, warmest embrace that I can ever conjure in hopes of you being able to find peace in my embrace as I shield you from all things negative in this world, albeit temporarily. Maybe it's the way you flash that ever-so sweet smile of yours when you're being all cute with your octopus that makes me swear to always protect it and make sure that every single minute you spend with me is a happy one.
I've said it many times and I'll never get tired of saying it: You, Jada Lauren, are absolutely amazing. Your determination to get through every single day despite the things that are troubling you have always been my explanation. You make me want to become a better person. Although we fight (mostly because of my ass), my apologies aren't just for show. They're silent promises of change and improvement because that is exactly what you deserve, Jada. You deserve someone that doesn't force you to accept what he currently is, but rather uses you as an inspiration to improve and become a better person. And that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm changing myself for the better. For myself, and for the both of us. You deserve the best, Ida (that's such a cute nickname big props to carla for that), and believe me when I say that I will do my best to make sure that you always get the best from me.
And lastly, I'll be there. Through online window shopping sprees and stressful academic nights. Doesn't matter when and where, I'll show up for you. I always will. After all, every single imperfection, every single flaw, every single thing that you are makes you, you. And in case I haven't stressed it enough, I wouldn't trade you for the world.
Every day I spend is a good one, as long as I get to spend it with you.
I'll always thank the gods above for allowing me to meet you. Always.
ihlee, my Krasivaya.
