sex

zero.

“you can't keep doing this!” they'd shout as she walked through the door after one of her late nights out.

“you're a disgrace.” they spat, gritting their teeth in annoyance when she'd roll her eyes during their lectures and "family interventions".

“you've ruined this family!” one would cry as the others rolled their eyes as well.

“what are we gonna do?” they'd whisper at the kitchen table, as if she couldn't hear them from in the living room where she'd sit watching mike & molly.

“you're destroying yourself!” they'd exclaim, running their fingers through their hair in exasperation as one would pace around the room. 

“but don't forget, i still love you.” they'd whisper, hugging her before walking away so they don't cry and show her emotion. simply because she couldn't feel any.

“i can't do this anymore, i'm leaving!” the one who's fed up with all the fighting and the interventions would scream before they stormed out the door, leaving everyone in the house in distress.

little did they know, that she couldn't take it anymore either. and she was destroying herself because of them.

she was never given love as a child, so she found it in something that will live on for millions of years, much like the one feeling she's never felt before. 

sex.

+

this is different from the beginning of anon, heroin, and thrill ride. but it's a change.

i just can't decide if it's good or bad.

- del computer software