Secrets of Attraction

Twenty-Five: SUZY (final)

The song was for me. I knew that. And I wasn't running away - I hoped Stephanie and Yoona made sure Joohyuk knew that when they saw him after Samsan's set. I wanted to see him after the battle, and I would, but I had to do something first before it was too late.

Thankfully, the night was warm - winter finally giving way to spring - and it was pleasant walking across town. I stopped at the bakery. I'd made it just as they were about to close, buying the last of the good donuts, the one sure thing that Juhoon and I shared. Well, the second, I guess. We shared Eomma, after all.

I wasn't about to let Juhoon get away with not saying goodbye to me. I wasn't an architect yet I was the architect of own life and this not-saying-goodbye crap set up a weak foundation.

Joohyuk's song - seeing him alone, vulnerable, voice and guitar - reminded me that being an open book, sharing what was inside, was an uncertain leap. Scary but necessary. I didn't quite understand what had come over me as I watched him. Or maybe it was something that had been gradually happening since I met him. Joohyuk poured out words that cut me straight to the core. I could help but melt, my heart firmly and sappily on my sleeve. Maybe only Yoona and Stephanie knew the song was for me, but it felt like everyone in the university gymnasium had.

I climbed the stairs to my house tow at a time, still harboring the tiniest hope that I'd burst in on Eomma and Juhoon in a lip-lock, they'd profess their love to each other and me, and we'd be a family and live happily ever after just like my birthday wish.

No such luck.

"Suzy, I thought you were out for the night," eomma said.

The two of them were in their usual spot in the dining room, each with a glass of wine, half-eaten pizza still in the box between them. I lifted up the grease-stained what bag for Juhoon to see. He grinned and raised his glass to me before taking a sip.

"Pizza and donuts, this is quite a send-off," he said.

"Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye to me?" I placed the bag on the table and pulled out a chair. Juhoon put his glass down. Eomma rested her chin on her hands and wait expectantly for him to answer.

"And don't give me 'I'm not into goodbyes.' I think that's sort of Parenting 101 - you say goodbye to the people you love when you leave. Especially your kids. Especially me."

He looked between eomma and me. "Okay, I can do that."

"There's something else," I said.

Eomma agve me the same expectant look she'd given Juhoon.

No turning back now.

"I did some research about summer programs in New York and I thought, well, maybe I'd apply someplace out there."

"The one in Manhattan?" Juhoon asked.

"No, the in Brook- wait, how do you know there's one in Manhattan?" I looked at eomma, who was chuckling and shaking her head.

"After we spoke the other day, I looked into it, I thought I'd toss the idea out to your mom, see what she thought first. I know how important it is for you to earn your way."

"I'd have to earn my way into Brooklyn. I think I still have time to get everything together." I stopped, looked at eomma. "Are you okay with this if I get in?"

She smiled. "I think it would be great, for the both of you. And I guess I would have to maybe fly out at some point. Ugh, a vacation overseas, how awful would that be?"

"The three of us in the city of tourists," Juhoon said, lifting his wineglass. "That would be something."

The three of us.