Trapped in My Head

Chapter 8: Progress

Kirishima's POV:

Possible trigger warning

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The next month is hard, but it is nothing compared to the first week that Bakugo came back. I have yet to make any progress in getting closer or even breaking down the wall, but I keep trying and I keep pushing, knowing that I can get through, that I can save Bakugo.

Every day it is the same routine and I join him on it, even if he ignores me. Every day, he seems to wake up, screaming, from his nightmares, and then leaves his room, at whatever time, and goes to train. When he first came back he would wear a tank top or even take off his shirt, but then he started wearing long sleeve shirts and never taking them off while training on his own. Then at around 7 he would come back and take a shower and get ready for school. Then I would walk to school with him. Then at lunch, he would go up to the roof. After a few days of my absence, Mina, Sero, and Denki all started eating lunch up on the roof too, but Bakugo would change where he ate every day, so we just decided to eat at the cafeteria, without Bakugo, again. After school, he would go immediately to his dorm and do his homework and workout more until falling asleep (around 12) and starting the cycle over again. I knew he was barely sleeping, probably to stop the nightmares, but it didn't seem to be affecting him.

Some of the days I would hide while he was at Gym Gamma, so he didn't know I was there and he would scream at himself. He would yell as if someone was there, as if someone was yelling at him. But as soon as he saw me, he would act like nothing happened and go back to his nothingness.

It was hard. Especially since most everyone else accepted that he was fine. After our midterms, everyone thought that Bakugo was okay again. It seemed as though they just forgot how he used to act and that the way he was now was his new normal. They thought that him getting first in the midterm rankings qualified him being okay. But to me, it meant the opposite. It is as if he is trying to prove himself or he is trying to compensate for something. I don't know what it is, but I know he isn't okay. He still needs help, now more than ever.

December 3rd is when everything starts to change.

I hear Bakugo screaming and check the time on my phone; 2:53. I went to bed at 9 last night, which is about when I usually fall asleep, since I wake up with Bakugo in the middle of the night. The first few days I had stayed up to about 11 like I always have, but the lack of sleep caught up to me pretty fast. I don't know how Bakugo does it.

I roll to the side, not realizing that I am on the edge of my bed, and fall off. 'Ergh.' I moan out loud before slowly getting up and stretching. I think today I will just watch Bakugo, for some reason I have a feeling that I shouldn't work out with help (although me working out with him just consists of me either copying him and him constantly trying to get away from me or us both just doing our own thing). I sit back down on my bed and wait a couple of minutes. I get up and walk over to my dresser, using my phone as a flashlight. I grab a shirt and some pants and put them on. I grab Bakugo's sweatshirt, which I had tried giving back but he wouldn't accept it. I even put it in front of his door but it stayed there for 4 days before I decided just to take it back. I have been wearing it a lot lately, it helps me. It comforts me and it reminds me why I am doing this. I put on the sweatshirt and head out of my room.

The cool air hits me hard as I leave the dorm building and I shiver. I stuff my hands into my pockets and pick up the pace of my walking. I reach Gym Gamma and look in through a window. Bakugo is there, working out in a long-sleeve like usual. I wait until he is distracted and then I go into the building and hide to one of the sides. He never uses the water fountain, so I hide in the little alcove that it sits in.