The walk across the strawberry field was quiet, but not tense. Neither boy said a word, likely lost in thought, although their hands were firmly planted together.
Nico's mind was racing. He had kissed Will Solace. He had kissed Will Solace, and Will had not thrown up in response. He had kissed Will Solace, and now they were holding hands.
But a kiss didn't have to mean anything. Mothers kissed their children. Presidents kissed babies. Exes kissed in goodbye. Children kissed on the playground and never saw each other again. The grieving kissed the dead. Friends kissed friends in emotional situations. Probably. Nico didn't really have much experience in the friend department, but, like, that was probably a normal friend response. Right? It didn't have to mean anything. It didn't mean anything.
But didn't he want it to? Did he not want it to mean something?
Just hours ago he was craving that kiss, the closeness, the vulnerability of it.
And now he wanted nothing but to go back, to stop it from happening. He never should have let it. Will hadn't meant anything by it, but it was too late. Nico had fallen. He had flown too close to the sun. He was drowning. Drowning in the taste of Will's lips, the feeling of Will's hands in his hair, in the framing of Will's face by the pale green light.
Nico dropped Will's hand. He couldn't think like that. About him like that. Even if Will had meant it, had wanted it, Nico wouldn't allow it. He was hurt, he was broken. He had been burned before, and it was hard for him to understand that not everyone carried a lit match. He wasn't the right person for- for a relationship, or whatever it would be. He was mean, and deadly, and the Ghost King for Hades' sake. He was not a boyfriend.
Will glanced at him for only a second as he separated their hands, before looking back down towards his feet. Nicos heart skipped a beat, and internally he screamed at himself for it. He did not care about this man. He could not care about this man. He was a means to an end. A friendly face- Nico could almost laugh at the irony of the phrase- to keep him stable in the period before he was yet again forced to leave. To run. Unwillingly, maybe, this time, but forced to go all the same.
They reached the infirmary and Will broke their seemingly infinite stretch of silence. "I know social things aren't really your thing, so just a warning, there's a few people waiting for you. But I'll get you a room with Mia, and say I need to make sure you're okay as soon as that's done."
Nico only nodded, and pushed the door open.
Jason jumped up from an empty cot, pulling his arm out from behind a half asleep Piper.
The first floor was practically empty, other than the welcome party that had formed for Nico. It consisted of the aforementioned half asleep Piper, an antsy Jason, an out of place Percy, and, surprisingly, a pacing Mia.
"Dude!" Jason said, eyes slanting slightly.
It was all too similar to the way Will's eyes had changed when he'd walked back into his cabin. But, no. Nico couldn't think about Will. He couldn't think about what happened, or what was going to. He needed to put on a brave face, a mask. He needed to ignore. That was what he did best, after all.
So he did it. He slipped on his mask of disinterest, an easy feat after all these years.
"Hello, Jason. And... others."
Jason only repeated himself, in a tone that could be considered either relieved, or livid. When he walked up to Nico, punched him in the shoulder, and gave him a bear hug, Nico found it safe to assume it was a combination.
"Nico-" Piper started, having shaken herself awake, but Jason interrupted.
"Don't ever fucking do that again. I mean, disappearing after a 2 day coma? Not cool, man, even for you."
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How Icarus Fell From the Sun (a Solangelo fanfic)
FanfictionNico felt like Icarus. Fly too close to the sun, and your wings will melt. Fly too close to the sea, your wings will grow heavy. Nico had already flown too close to the sea. He had allowed his infatuation with Percy to rule his life, his decisions...