First Imprint Sam's Story.

Chapter 8: Desperate

Preface

I never understood the idea of suicide. I never understood what would make someone so desperate that they would want take their own life...until now.

Chapter 8 - Desperate

Sam's POV

I woke up early around 6 am, but couldn't go back to sleep. Paul and Jared had given me the night off so that I could be rested for my date with Emily. In truth, I think they mainly didn't want me to patrol with them because I couldn't stop thinking of her and they were getting irritated with it. Harry was right. I was completely useless in my role as the Alpha and would continue to be so until I got things settled with my imprint.

I stared impatiently at the clock for a half hour before finally admitting defeat. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, I got out of bed and started getting ready for the day. After showering and throwing on some khaki shorts and a white t-shirt, I prepared my breakfast. Today I decided on six scrambled eggs, a quart of orange juice and four pieces of toast. When the clock still showed that it wasn't even 8 am, I began to clean the house just for something to do and to be honest, it really needed it. Finally it was 9:30 am. I decided to walk instead of drive over so that I could burn up more time.

I headed towards the Clearwater house and had just started to pass the supply store when I heard my name called. I turned and there was Emily leaning against the wall outside the store entrance. She, like me, was wearing khaki shorts but with a purple tank top that emphasized her curves. She looked incredible and as she walked towards me, the scent of honeysuckle hit me like an aphrodisiac.

"You look nice," I said. Nice seemed too plain a word, but I didn't want to scare her.

"Thanks," She said uncomfortably, while looking anywhere but at me. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Do you mind if we walk for a while? I don't really feel comfortable talking about this here." I said, looking knowingly towards the store where I could hear Seth rummaging around.

"Uh...sure," she replied after hesitating.

We began following a well known trail that was a favorite in La Push. I asked her all kinds of questions about what she liked and disliked, and after a while she began to ask me about mine. She soon was relaxed and talking openly. I told her a story of my bad cooking skills, a time in high school when I tried to cook french toast and ended up with food poisoning for two weeks because I didn't cook the egg thoroughly enough. She laughed so hard that tears formed in her eyes. It was the first time I had ever heard her laugh, a true heartfelt laugh, and I felt myself fall more deeply in love with her.

Before I knew it, a couple of hours had passed. We decided to take an off beat trail. I realized that we were at the clearing that Leah and I used to go to. I felt like a heel bringing Emily to this place even if it was subconscious. We began to walk closer to the waterfall, closer than Leah and I had ever been. I was quiet as I stared across the river that formed under the waterfall.

"Well, we've been talking and walking for a while now Sam. What did you really want to talk to me about?" Emily asked. I turned to look at her. Odd, something in her face seemed reluctant and I wondered if she was as unwilling to ruin the happy mood as I was.

"I wanted to talk about us," I started, watching her immediately freeze up.

"There is no us," she interrupted quickly. ""I thought you wanted me to come here to give you some advice on Leah."

"I don't want to hurt Leah anymore, but...I need you, Emily." I blurted out and then cursed myself silently.

This wasn't going right. In the anger I could sense building in her, I panicked and didn't do anything like I wanted. I could feel the heat start to burn along my spine.