Memories of the Circus

Where Things Began

When I was younger, my father used to take me to the circus that would come to our small little town. It was the best time of year for me and I would always look forward to the amazing feats of acrobatics or the incredible and bizarre acts that left me on the edge of my seat. For a small amount of time, I forgot my worries and how cruel the world could be just to focus on the many acts in front of me.

I always loved to smell the delicious scent of popcorn or cotton candy as we walked through the pathways to see the next booth or act. I had such a love for the circus that I was convinced that it was where I wanted to stay...I couldn't have been more wrong. But I am getting a bit ahead of myself, maybe I should start off at the beginning.

"Damien!" My father called after me as I ran down the crowded aisle between booths "Get back here" He said as he shoved people out of the way. I ran and ran as fast as my small legs could carry me despite my father's rather desperate calls. I was on a mission as I followed the sound of an odd song. It was a carnival song but it seemed distorted. I couldn't help myself as if my legs carried me on their own. The closer I got, the louder the music seemed to get until eventually, I was standing in front of a brightly colored red and white circus tent. The tent itself seemed a bit distant from the rest of the other circus tents. The song seemed to lure me in further as I looked up to see a small beam of bright light poking behind the curtains.

I had always been a rather curious child, whether that meant adventuring far out from my backyard or pestering my father when he was working on a new project for a client. I loved the sense of mystery that came along with finding something new. I reached a small hand up as I stared with eyes widened in fascination. I slowly gripped a bit of the tent in my hand as I pulled it back to peer at what was inside. I don't think that I could ever forget what I saw in there...

Compared to my small stature the room seemed enormous. Tons of old junk cluttered the walls and it looked like a maze. In the very center of the room, there was one chair in the middle. The striped pattern had since faded and was no longer bright red. The fabric was ripped and the chair had definitely seen much better days. On the chair sat a new looking doll, she wore an older looking outfit and one side of her hair was a pastel purple while the other was mint green. Her dress matched the colors and her bright white socks came up to her knees. I reached forward to grab the doll off the chair. The music had since stopped but if I found it again then having a friend wouldn't have been too bad. She seemed to be tired to the chair with what looked like a fishing line. It was tied tightly around her small wrists and ankles. As I untied it I was sure to be careful with the doll. Whoever's she was must have really missed their doll.

Before long, I was holding the small doll tightly and I left to go and see my dad again. Now that the interest in following the enchanting song was over, he felt bad for just running off. My father would always tell me to never run off or to talk to strangers and yet I had just broken one of those rules. Ever since my mother died, my father kept me close. He wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me and I had always been there for him the same way.

As I stepped out into the pathway I realized that something was off, I wasn't too sure what it was at first but as I started to walk, I realized that things seemed to be changing. Not figuratively but I could see that things were subtly changing directions and the place I had come from was now a dead end. I frowned and held the doll tighter in hopes my new friend might be able to help me with whatever was going on. Just then, I wanted to cry, I was scared and at the time I wasn't sure if I would have ever left.

The farther I walked the more this feeling of dread began to wash over me. I distinctly remember crying out for my dad only for a sweet voice to answer. "Who's that?" The voice asked in pure curiosity. I had jumped a bit and looked around rather frantically. I wiped my eyes as I looked for the source of the voice

I calmed my crying to small sniffles as I looked around with furrowed brows "Hello?" I asked, ready to flee. "Not who's there silly." The voice giggled. I tried to follow the sound but it was like it was coming from everywhere. "I asked who's that. I don't know who this Dad is." She said, I could practically hear a smile in her voice as she spoke.

"My Dad-Dad is my dad..?" I said softly and looked down to the ground. I remember thinking that if I was small enough maybe this would all go away and I could run into my dad's arms. That was something I wanted more than anything in all honesty. "I need-need to find him...he is-is probably so worried." I frowned and tried to stop from bursting into tears again.

"Oh no, there is no need to cry." The voice assured sweetly "I'll help you find him and you can help me." the voice said but it was followed by the sounds of footsteps behind me. I tensed up and shifted the doll so she was hugging me back. In that moment I felt another presence but I didn't want to look up. The figure moved so that they were in front of me and I kept my gaze down. It wasn't until they knelt down and caught the colors of her dress that I realized who it was... They were no stranger at all!

The familiar mint green and pastel purple dress and hair caught my eyes. She looked just like the doll I was holding. The only difference was the beautiful circus makeup that she wore and the old and tattered rope on her arms and ankles that dragged behind her. I looked up at her in we and she just offered me a small smile. I smiled back and had hoped for a bit. I knew her and she would definitely be here to help me out. "So, what do you say? Would you like me to help you find this dad?" She said and I nodded a bit too quickly. The girl just giggled and looked down at the doll that I held. I could tell, just by the way that she looked at it, that she knew this doll. I was sure that it might have been hers so I held it out to her with a small smile.

"Oh, aren't you just so sweet?" She hummed and took the doll from me. "How about I let you hold her for now. She always makes me feel so much better. She is just a good friend like that" She explained and gave the small doll back to me. I nodded and took the doll from her before I held it close and reached out my hand for this strange yet...familiar woman. She stood and took my hand, It was so strange, her movements and grip were gentle even if she was so much bigger than I was. I found that all very comforting and as she began to walk, I began to follow. I thought that we were going to find my dad after all...

The scene around us was so quiet and gloomy. It was nothing like the circus I had known just an hour prior. The woman next to me talked and talked and seemed to be in her own little world. I felt sad for her. It seemed so lonely in this dark and twisted version of the once happy circus I had been to. It was so quiet and I was glad to be her friend. I began to warm up to her. "I'm Damien," I said in a small moment of silence after she had stopped talking.

"Damien?" She asked cocking her head to the side a bit as she tested out my name. "That is truly a lovely name." She said smiling back at me as I held the doll close. The woman had been right, she was a very good friend. I had positioned the doll so that she held my hand as well as we kept walking. Things morphed and changed around me and I was terrified. I wanted nothing but to be back with my dad again, but with each tent we passed there was no one in sight. This whole place felt dead, with the quiet and the chilling breeze that sent a shiver up my spine.