There is only two things to live in this non-sense world, first to be true to yourself and second to cheat! people say cheater does not win, and why is that i always win? sometimes i told myself to be honest but every time that i will try, i always failed. it's just like a try out in volleyball, your coach will say throw the ball and hit it 10 times, if the ball falls on the floor your out! and that's what i always feel, ALWAYS DROPPED ON THE FLOOR! even to my parents i always make their life miserable because of my shit attitude! I tried to be true to myself but why i always fail, why is that others can do it easy like tossing the coin? I always think about my friends sake, I don't want my mom to say that they had the shit attitude, the bad influence for me but the truth is THEY ARE! many people says that I have an angelic face but my real friends says that what is the use of my angelic face if i have a fucking attitude? they say " your pretty" . so? what's the point? if people doesn't like me. i wanna be nice to everybody so that the world would be nice to me. but the problem is I take my own PRIDE. they say if you take away your pride your life will be happy as much of what you are expected. just like to my studies, I didn't get what my teacher is saying even I want to ask my teacher. I always told myself that I can do everything without their help. it's been 15 years that I lived here in earth without them, without their helping hands. when i was in third year highschool that was the best and worse thing and yet my happiest batch. In my third year life i experienced hated by my classmates, teachers, friends, relatives, even though people who's not a friend of mine because they hear things about me. a thing that I thought I'm famous because I'm a WAR FREAK! everytime I walk down to our corridor there is no time that I don't have a rivals. but when I realized that I'm such a walking non-sense in our corridor i tried to be true to myself again! but this time i didn't fail because i found a new true friends who will accept of who I am, of what is my attitude, and let me change my negative attitudes. actually that peoples treat me like a special girl walking down to our corridor, not a bitchy girl walking like a book of non sense. i wanna say a billion of thank you for accepting me, i wanna cry for the thing you've made for me. my 15th birthday is the most special birthday for me, beacause i feel the true presence of birthday. and not just only birthday because there is many foods in our table, all of my classmates is in my house and many gifts. but in my 15th birthday it's special because you come to our house not only to eat, to make fun and to judge our house. but to make me feel that I am important in your hearts. the true meaning of friendship is they are not only in your side to make you laugh, but they also join you in your dramas. I always pray that you might not loose in my arms. I'm always here to join you in singing, study, drama, laughs, senti, etc! I also have a one special friend, and i don't want to loose her, because she is the first one who accept me when myself is on the floor, actually i'm a shit! because i throw her away, i choose a friend who will pull me down, i don't even think that girl make herself pity for me but i say to myself "go away i don't even need your help, friendship, even your hand" i choose again my pride. but when i'm down i go to a room without any noise and think of the things i've done, while i'm busy thinking of it i realized that she is the true friend of mine who never leaves me.
