The Soloist

The Announcement (Chapter 4)

           The early light of dawn had now dissipated, as the bright midday now took control of the room. Behind him came a gentle whisper of the entryway being shut. He exhaled deeply, trying to expel the weight of his worry. Making his way across the room he stopped at the foot of his bed and threw himself down. He laid like this for a moment contemplating what he was going to do next. He skimmed through a list of things he might have to get done that day. Nothing came to his mind that was of any true importance. Reaching for his phone he went to check his calendar for anything he might have missed. There was nothing. Deciding to look at what else he had coming up, he scrolls through the rest of the month. His schedule was pretty open this month, there was only one day that seemed to have an event on it. Tapping his finger on the screen, it widens the day. Staring at the name of the event, it gave him a feeling of confusion. Reading it over again, he couldn’t believe he forgot this was coming up. It was Nichkhun’s birthday. Nichkhun was always very kind to him. Although they didn’t see each other too often, when they did, Nichkhun always treated him like a younger brother. Now, after what he had witnessed the night before, he felt some resentment towards him. Not just resentment either, it also made him feel stupid. How could he not have picked up on the relationship he and Tiffany were having? Was he really that blind? Or was he too caught up in his infatuation that he never noticed anything else besides her? Or was it something they had been keeping secret? 
            His tension was beginning to dissolve itself, as thoughts of Tiffany were manifesting themselves. Images of her sweet smile, sounds of her laugh, the scent of her perfume were all reborn. He was being overwhelmed by his senses, there was a warmth resonating within him. Mark thought about what she could be doing right now, he wondered if she was still with Nichkhun. The idea of it made his stomach curl. Maybe she was worrying about him, since he had disappeared. The comment Doyoung had said replays in his mind. She might actually know what happened to him. He scurries through his phone to find her contact information. Finding her, he becomes hesitant, his finger hovers over her number for a moment. There is a nervousness that floats through him. Not letting it consume him, he presses down onto his phone and hits her number. The screen changes, showing her name and a circular photo of her at the center of his screen. He puts the phone to his ear and waits, hearing the sound of each ringing pass. The wait is cut short as the ringing stops and he hears her voice coming through the device.
           "Hey, how are you doing?"  Her sweet voice resonated into his ear, sending a calmness into his body that he wished he had fought.
          “Uh, Hey, I’m doing good. Just a bit sore, nothing too bad.” He responds to her, partially telling her the truth. Lifting himself up on his bed, he sat up in a relief she had answered.
           “That’s good to hear, do you have any plans for your day? Or do you get to stay home and rest?” Her gentle voice was soothing away all the tension inside him.
            “Yeah, I’m not promoting right now so I have a lot of downtime.” He told her, about to lose himself completely to the relaxation she gave him. Before he could surrender himself to the peace, a memory of Nichkhun brushing his fingers on the nape of her neck returned to him. Not wanting to see that image in his head again, he decides that he would have to take action. He would need to create his own moment with her to be strong enough to overpower the one with Nichkhun. First she needs to know how he feels about her. He needed to confess. “Hey, so I was wondering if you had any free time coming up?” Mark felt like his throat was constricting as he spoke the words to her. His body started to fidget, not being able to sit still. Time started to feel like it was slowing it's pace, his awareness was rising making each moment feel like an eternity. His heightened senses were causing him to fidget even more. 
            “Hmm….uh… yeah I think I have free time soon, I think this Saturday. Why, what’s up?” Her voice came to him a little nervous.
             “Can we go get some food or something?” His voice was shaking, as he struggled to get the words out.
            “Yeah, that sounds great.” Tiffany answered him, but he could hear her tone change. “Look I can't really talk right now, I'm a bit busy right now, but I’ll definitely see you then.”
              “Wait, before you go I actually needed to ask you something.” Mark quickly added, his voice filled with desperation to keep her on the line a bit longer.
              “What’s up?” A sense of worry coming from her.
              “Well I was wondering if you knew what happened last night? I can’t remember coming home, and no one knows how I got home either.” He blurted out. 
              “Oh yeah, Jackson just told me that he actually found you passed out somewhere in his house and he arranged for someone to bring you home.” Tiffany explained, slightly amused. 
              “Jackson?” A wave of embarrassment washed over him. He couldn’t believe that of all people, the host of the party had found passed out drunk in his house, the first time he had been invited. “Well can you-“ 
             “Hey I’ve got to go now but I’ll see you Saturday. Bye!” She interrupted, seeming like she was in a hurry.
              “Oh, okay then, Bye.” Mark responded softly as he heard the beeping of the call ending. 
              Mark dropped himself down again on his bed. Letting out a heavy sigh, he shut his eyes. In an attempt to regain some memory of the night before, he tries to clear his mind. Inhaling deeply he holds it in for a second and then exhales slowly, he repeats this over and over. Trying to take control of his breathing to try and  ease his whole body. Clearing out all his emotions he tries to focus on the events he last remembered. He sees Tiffany disappearing up the staircase, then a flash of Nichkhun closing the door in front of him. Focusing as hard as he could, he keeps getting the same result. There was something keeping him from getting past that point of the night. Deciding to give it a try one more time, he relaxes himself again. Controlling his air flow, he lets his thoughts dissipate one after the other. This time he tries focusing on his emotions. Perhaps there was something his body had felt that his mind couldn’t connect to. A warmth was beginning to spread within him, it built itself up quickly. This sensation was alien to him. It begins to burn inside him, the heat rising higher, it felt like his blood would soon begin to boil. He no longer had control of his breathing, the heat was suffocating him. Unable to handle it any longer, he battles his way back to consciousness, trying to break out of the trance his body had put him in. Inching his way closer back in control, pushing with all his might he can feel himself at the brink of reality again. Shooting his eyes open, he was gasping for air as he sits himself up on his bed, he pulls down on the collar of his shirt. His breathing slowly starts to regulate, and his consciousness starts to slowly regain itself. The instant before he pulled himself back into reality, he saw an unclear vision. It flashed in his mind so fast it felt almost like he had seen a ghost. Mark tried to replay it back, wanting to get a clearer image of who it was. Centering all his attention on that one recollection, the fog of blurriness was starting to lift. Pushing forward he finally could see the face of who had appeared to him in his trance. It was Johnny.
              What just happened? Still trying to rationalize the experience he had just gone through. Why had Johnny’s image penetrated his mind? Why did his body react like that? There has to be some sort of mistake. Then the memory of Johnny being cold to him that morning played itself in his mind. Why did he act that way? A sadness started to cast over him. Johnny had never acted like that towards him before. He pondered on his thoughts for a moment. Could Johnny know something? His thoughts were interrupted when his phone rang. Almost as a reflex he hurries to check who is calling. Noticing the name, a dismay floods through him, but he answers anyway.
             “Hey Taemin, What’s up?” Letting escape out a hint of disappointment in his tone.
             “Hello to you too.” Taemin responds to him sarcastically, but quickly laughs it off. “What are you doing?!” His voice was full of energy.
             “Nothing at the moment, why? What’s up?”
             “I’m just finishing up a shoot, but I just wanted to call and see if you were free Wednesday?” 
              “Um… yeah I should be.” He answered unsure of what Taemin was asking for.
             “Perfect let’s go shopping!” Taemin exclaimed over the phone. Mark moves his phone away from his ear, because of the volume of Taemin’s excitement. ‘Well I have to go now! See you then! Bye bye!.” Before Mark could get a word in, Taemin had hung up the phone. Mark was astonished that he had been hung up on. Moving his phone to face it, checking if he had really hung up. The screen had returned to the home screen. He stared at it in shock, that Taemin of all people hung up on him. All he could do is just chuckle to himself.