"Marilynn, he's gone."
"Mom, what do you mean 'gone'?"
"He's dead."
The conversation from this morning rung in my head all throughout the day. I couldn't believe it, I refused to believe it. Jackson was my best friend, he would never kill himself. He had the perfect life; a wonderful family, a mansion for a house, outstanding grades; there was just no way. The whole day people had stopped me in the hall, saying they were sorry he died, and that everything was going to be okay. But i knew it wasnt going to be okay. I was getting more, and more frustrated, and finally I decided that i wasnt ready to be at school, not after he had died- not after my best friend was gone. I texted my mom to pick me up, and i didnt get a reply, but after ten minutes they called my name on the loud speaker at the office. Thank god for that, because i was about to have a breakdown. I practically ran out the doors to my mom, bursting out in tears once i had reached her arms. "Mom i dont know what im going to do." I whispered through the tears. It was meant to come out as angry, but sounded more like a plead. "Well honey, lets get you home, and then we'll talk" my mother replied. The ride home was completely silent, aside from my "fall out boy" music in the background. I had never known what it felt like to have your heart broken. I only ever loved four people in my life, my five year old sister dallas, my parents, and Jackson. I had known Jackson since I was four years old. We grew up together as best friends, and once one the night of my thirteenth birthday, we kissed. It was a surprising/ crazy moment for me. Surprising because well, he was my best friend; and crazy because, well i had a boyfriend who i very frequently kissed, that i knew would not be happy, since he was also at the party. As you can imagine, my boyfriend and i were finished, and two weeks later I started dating Jackson. Jackson and i lived two houses away from each other, so before i knew it, i was at his house every day. My parents didnt exactly know about the kissing part, but other than that they were fine with it. My parents dont really care what i do, as long as its ya know, legal. I had everything i wanted, and i have had everything i wanted, up to this day. I wanted him back. I wanted to be able to kiss him, hug him, tell him my problems, i just wanted him back; and I knew that for the rest of my life i would be thinking 'what if'. What if he didnt die, what if i stopped him, what if we grew old together. And i was right. Everyday i thought of him, and nothing else. I spent countless days in my room thinking about him. I could never figure out why he did that. Why would my boyfriend end his life?
