Chances || H.S.

21 | Always on my Mind

Harry:

The hotel room feels cold and lonely this morning.

When we got here last night, we went to dinner and I called it an early night. I came back to my room and sat there and stared at the wall for a few minutes trying not to overthink the fact that I had yet to hear from Easton. I did what she asked and texted her when I landed but she didn't respond. I tried not to let my brain start wandering to places that it didn't need to go. 

I took a quick shower and put on my boxers before climbing into bed and just as my eyes were closing, my phone finally went off with a text. It was nothing special, but it still made my heart jump. She always makes my heart jump.

Easton:

Sorry.

As soon as I got off the plane my mom called.

I should have texted.

I read them over a few times. She never did call her mom back yesterday while we were together, but to be fair, I ignored every call that came to my phone too. I texted her back and let her know that there was nothing to be sorry about and that I was glad she made it safely.

I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the short conversation and when I woke up I felt a small twinge of guilt for falling asleep without saying goodnight, but I was so tired that there was no point in trying to fight the sleep.

The bed this morning feels empty and I know it's because I have experienced what it's like to wake up with Easton in my arms. I really was struggling with the idea that she couldn't just come with me to Sacramento, but I know she has a job that is just as important to her as mine is to me.

I could listen to her talk about the things she's passionate about for hours on end. The way her face lit up when she talked about a memory she had with certain celebrities and the way when she got excited her voice picked up a notch.

I rubbed at my eye with the knuckle of my index finger as I rolled over onto my back. I have been thinking ever since I woke up and my brain is already tired for the day. I don't have a lot of time to myself today as the show is tonight and we were planning on spending the day inside the arena.

The longer I sit here in silence, the more I start to think about the idea that what if this thing with Easton doesn't work? I am already so used to her even though there is so much to learn about her. I would actually be upset if we ever were to break this off. But with the tour coming to an end, I can't help but think about being able to spend as much time with her as possible. But would she even want that?

I don't want to throw her into something that she isn't ready for so I need to calm it down and take it slow. But that's always been my problem. I feel like I never take it slow in a relationship and it is always why they come crashing to the ground around me. The most common complaint I would hear is that I smother them, which always hurts, but I feel like I never learn. It's not my fault that it's just my personality to get overly attached.

At least that's what I tell myself.

I finally pull myself out of bed and know that I have enough time to order room service, so that's what I do and as I wait for the cart to make its wait to my room I start to scroll through my phone a bit. I decide to wait to text Easton in hopes that maybe she'll reach out. This is the first step for me to try and take it slow.

The first step to not seeming so desperate.

I open up my Instagram and look at the post from my Vegas show, admiring it for a bit. At the start of the tour, I thought it would be a good idea to post a photo from every show and Helene does such a good job with them that it takes me a long time to decide which one to post each night. But this one, Easton helped me picked so it's automatically one of my favorites. I am smiling behind the microphone and it looks so genuine.