The Nail That Sticks Out

Chapter Two: Silence

Olivia Mei Sasaki

Waseda University was definitely not my first pick. If anything, I would have gladly gone back to California for my undergraduate studies. But one brief phone call from my father had me convinced that I should only apply to universities in Japan. 

"Olivia. You could be working closely under Muses Hotels. You would be jeopardizing your future with my company if you don't go to a Japanese university and at least learn to be fluent in Japanese. Learn to live in Japan. Learn to be Japanese."

I grit my teeth at the memory of the five minute phone call I had with him. The first phone call I've had since moving to Japan for my senior year of high school. I wanted to ask him how he was doing. I wanted to ask if he'd be coming to my graduation. He told me he had a meeting to attend before bidding goodbye and ending the call. 

So here I am at a pretty prestigious Japanese University, if I do say so myself, heading to my first lecture. I can honestly admit that a small part of me is excited. High school in Tokyo was absolutely dreadful. I had no one to talk to, but it was understandable since I was a transfer student and everyone had already formed their groups. Sure, I wasn't the most sociable girl, but it gave me the time I needed in that one year to study and get the grades I needed to major in Bioscience at Waseda. This time, things are different. I'm actually here as a first-year student and everyone else is on the same boat as me, meeting new people and going through the same awkward stage of finding our classrooms. 

The Advanced Statistics course is taught by a middle-aged Japanese professor. He talks with a heavy accent and it seems that all his 126 students are buried in their notes, scribbling down every word he says. 

"If you look in your syllabus," he drones, pulling up the syllabus on the projector. "You will find all the textbooks you must have for this class. Please ask your TA if you cannot find them."

I nearly fall asleep at the one hour mark, wanting to bang my head against the tiny desk to drown out the monotonous lecture. 

A lifetime later, he calls it a day and people immediately pack their bags and make their way out. 

That's it?

I wasn't expecting the most electrifying two hours of my life, but...I thought we'd have discussions. Isn't that what university students do? The professor hadn't even asked a single question. 

I sigh and heave my bag over my shoulder, hoping the remaining classes I have for the day won't make me wan't to drown myself.

-----

A total of four monotonous hours of lecturing later, I'm exiting a hall feeling a little less than inspired. I'm exhausted too, from forcing myself awake every five minutes. I blame jet lag. 

I pathetically roam around the campus, looking for some sort of...something. A person might come talk to me to, I don't know, ask for directions. 

Much to my dismay, I watch for a few minutes as people simply head out the gates. The campus isn't a large one if I compare it to the ones I've seen in San Francisco, but it feels empty and spacious without all the students lingering around, promoting clubs and events. 

I give up after a while and head back to my dorm, fishing out my phone and shooting a text to Sophia. 

Olivia: Help, this sucks balls. I hate my university. 

I realize she must be asleep as it should be nearly 2:00 in the morning there. 

I miss the days where I was in high school and I'd come home after another dull day of school and hear my grandparents either singing some old song on the karaoke machine or bickering about whether to watch a Japanese drama or an American classic. I consider calling them, but I don't want to embarrass myself by telling them what I loner I was on my first day of university. 

As soon as I close the door to my room, I somehow feel even more alone than I had all day. The single light on the ceiling is off, the only light coming from the soft glow of the window. I drop my bag with a thud and stand there, looking at my still, mostly empty room. I bought a small fridge yesterday. My desk is a little more colorful with the calendar and all the highlighters splayed out. Got a shelf which now has my books in it. 

A couple seconds of silence pass by, the only sound coming from the ticking of the clock. Without warning, my throat tightens and burns and my body gives out as I slump against the door and join my bag on the ground. 

I could've stayed in San Francisco with you, mom, and we would've lived a good life. Look at me now. 

A sob escapes my throat and before I know it, I let myself wallow in my loneliness. 

A/N:

Anyone else have similar experiences (I sure do)?

Or is school a blast for you?

Happy reading!