Alita

chapter I

I fall in love with a girl who was dating with a guy for five years, in the beginning it was very interesting for me and her, sometimes we fall in between yes and no situation, that middle point between the two is where she fell, it happened that she was having a problem with a guy for time, and when she met me I was like an option and plan B guy who have no idea of what's really going on her heart, plus I was found in sanction for almost three years and twelve months didn't date any girl, I thought that God has open for me a chance for life this time, but unfortunately it was the closing of the gates that will get pope's goat if he heard about that,she's innocent but her pure heart caused trauma for three of us, she decided to love me and dumb the guy, but the guy was going into terrible heart breaks that hurt more than sword, am human being so she, I got into her boldly, I became very used to her so she, the guy was feeling bad and she felt him but she's afraid to hurt me too, so we got stuck between yes and no bias, I sacrificed her to leave me and continue with the guy, I explained everything and told her am fine and I will be fine, but she thought am digging my pains, I was doing so to rescue the guy because it seems that the guy is mad in her and maybe she was created with the GUy's lost rib , who am I to be the cause of someone death, as I keep saying what concerns me is her happiness and I want her to love him back, he's the guy God has created to have her and two of them will leave in ecstasy, forget about me and look at him please,i said, she was asking if am fine and I reply yes, what kills her is when I laugh out two sounds of ha ha and keep silence she feels am hurt badly and it's true I use to laugh in complements when I got hurt, so I thought she will leave me and get back the victim but with my ha ha complements she fell into me deeply, she don't wanna hurt me anymore.
And in the end of the day she will go and cry all night for both of us, I wanted to leave but she don't want that to happen.
So first time I met her she was very innocent and still she but her mistake was when she communicates with me, in fact she opened a negotiation between me and her which made me think and have feelings on her side, in our first conversations she never talk about her boyfriend and so me, am one of the type that never interferes in other people's lives, so what made me special, a day after her birthday which she didn't celebrate, she called at night I have just came from drawing my architectural design sheets, she told me hello and I replied back, "yesterday was my birthday but I didn't celebrate and my uncle was saying he will do it" I said oh what about your boyfriend, "my boyfriend called many times but I didn't replied then I closed my phone and your friend too called me on WhatsApp but I wasn't in moods to talk, since yesterday I didn't talk to anyone only you" the only you phrase made me feel special, I smile at myself on a mirror and back to the call, so we keep talking all night, we became close to each other, Alita in the morning, Alita in the noontime, Alita when the sun goes down.
The time I broke my phone, she was not able to reach me, but through my friends who are living with me in the same hostel she reaches, sometimes I will be drawing at college at night and my friends are in the hostel, she will call my friends and then my friends will call my colleagues who are drawing with me so her call reaches me after crossing all way from cape town to Rome, I start to have feelings towards her, after going back to sleep I will first check her photos so I better have a goodnight, so with my earphones playing Lewis capaldi - somebody to love and forever I feel she's with me, I became mad, sometimes I dance and feel something moving in my heart, ah! What a love, when I was single I thought that love was a fiction but with those moments I start to understand that something is real, for after time I don't remember what we use to talk about but we can talk more than hour without feeling mosquito bites.
One day one time she came with a yellow T-shirt labeled *Queen* and a way of hairstyle which stole my feelings officially and stumped her name in my heart, I love that way of hairstyle and the first photo with her, I save it in my YouTube account in form of video, that day I announced my feelings and truly what prophets said must come true and it's where I wrote the first page of our story, but she was not having any feelings towards me, I talked to her and she be like we are friends, I made all way through to convince her then she told me I will tell you my reply, I was waiting that moment, then when time came I told her am reading we talk at midnight then she agreed, so the time came and then it was unforgettable moment when the highest wall of Ancient Rome  was broken into dust, she rejected me and what I have read was burn, all what I have was gone, that night I don't know where I can sleep to control the pain, I played James Arthur-impossible , in the morning I sat for exam and I got a very big F, but I tried to continue, I told myself " girl is created to be loved, if not me then who" I went back to her and act like a friend again, so I low down my feelings and act like a good friend, we then back slowly like before more calls more conversation, Alita in the morning, Alita in the noontime, Alita when the sun goes down.
So with my drama I made her feel special and perfect, I use to tell her I know you don't love me but I won't let anyone to take you, I will burn the Amazon forest and dry up Indian Ocean, for your sake I can skip the world to its end and finish it, I don't care if you love me or not what I tell you is " you're mine always in my dreams".
I use to tell her what I think about her, I will first say it's just what I feel don't care about it, I do this to let her know what goes in my mind, I don't care whether she love me or not but I know one day one time she will sit with herself and start questioning herself, I then act like am fine even though am hurt, I do this to let her feel that I care much about her feelings not mine and that's a sacrifice, to sacrifice yourself to someone's feelings, so what's love ? It's sacrifice, to show someone that you care much about them than you yourself, when she told me that she don't want me I smiled and said " what concerns me is you just to see you happy, I will not let anyone to hurt you, even I can't forgive myself if I do so, choose who you are fine with and tell me, I will be on your side always don't worry I will be fine and I will be fine to hear you are fine, she start to look at me and then I smiled again and repeated the phrase " what concerns me is you just to see you happy "