Squibler Things~

The Spy

Everything about her was a lie, it had always been from the start. She was grown up on lies, lies about her parents, about herself.

"The only way to survive is to lie."

That was all that was taught to her. Lie. Lie. Lie. She would get dressed up. Put on a wig to hide her hair, put in contacts to change her eyes, force her voice to go higher, and lie.

That was how she lived her life. Because if she didn't lie, she would end up betrayed, dead, or both.

That's the way of life for a spy, and nothing would ever change that.

Her parents weren't her parents, her name wasn't her name, the clothes she wore were strategically picked out by the government organization that decided she was going to lie all her life for them.

The government organization that decided she was going to die for them.

So as she lied, and lied, and lied, she found she forgot. She forgot what she looked like. She forgot what she sounded like.

She found she didn't know how it felt. She didn't know how it felt to be held by a doting parent. She didn't know how it felt to be loved for just existing, without expectations.

She wanted to know what she looked like and how she sounded. She wanted to know what it felt like to be held, to be safe. She wanted to stop lying, but even if she did stop lying, then how would she be able to tell anyone the truth?

She was a lie. Her whole life, she was living in a lie. Her identity? A lie. Her wig, contacts, and the weird way she raised her voice was a lie. She was taught and brought up on lies. All of it delicately spun, slowly spinning into the perfect web, and she was trapped. There was no way to get out of it. No way to find the truth.

So one day she ran, ripping off the wig, taking out the contacts. She didn't know who she was, but she would find out. She ran till her knees gave out and she screamed to the sky, shredding her throat as it reached the world around her.

She wished she could be herself, but what even was "herself" when she was taught to be a proper lady, gentle and aloof? When she was taught to kill someone so quickly they wouldn't even register the fact that they were dead.

"You must fool the enemy,"

How would she know who she was when she was taught to be a wolf in sheep's clothing?

Those were all questions she would probably never get answered unless she looked, but it was dangerous to look. If the organization found out she was curious, they would surely kill her.

"Questions aren't allowed to be asked by pawns. Pawns are supposed to be quiet, and used to the benefit of the Player. Only Players can ask questions, because they are playing the game. Pawns aren't playing, they are getting played."

And even if she managed to run, to escape, to find out who she really was and find the courage to ask questions, they would find her. They would find her and bring her back, surely to see her terrified, to show that they were always in control and she would never be free. To fill her up with fear, to break her, and then kill her.

So, even though she wanted to run far away, she just waited under the sun, laying sprawled on the grass. She didn't say anything when they came to get her and she didn't fight back.

They questioned her about the wig, the contacts, the scream, and all she said was she was frustrated that her training wasn't going as well as she wanted it to. The wig and contacts were bothering her.

Stay calm. That was all she could do now as they left the room with their clipboards and told her to stay there. Stay calm and hope to whatever was out there that they wouldn't catch onto her quick, sloppily spun lie and kill her.

One day she would escape, but that day wasn't today.

She heard the sound of an air vent opening and the voice of her friend quickly saying their "escape" codeword.

But, maybe today was the day. So she went and escaped. And as they climbed through the vents, the room she was in before flooded with government agents, all armed and ready to kill.

• • •

Well, welcome to all of this! I guess. . .

I did this on Squibler's dangerous and hardcore mode and then edited and added stuff after the timer ran out

Since this basically won't have a plot it will update whenever (though, even when I have books with plot, I update whenever- the life of a procrastinator~)

When I was writing I was inspired by the way someone described the Red Room (Marvel) in their fanfiction

I was also inspired by the movie Salt with Angelina Jolie

(And now I wanna watch Red Sparrow. . . Or maybe read the book)

I wanna edit this more, but I also wanna take a break. . .

Have a nice day!
- xUnknownChildx

P.S. - if you want to give me prompts, then I'll do them! And if you get inspired to write something because of this book, please tell me so I can see it. Thanks and bye!

Published: Monday, February 15, 2021