How am I supposed to explain how I'm feeling if I don't know? I try over and over to find words that could come close to the swirl of emotions coursing through my body, but not a single word scratches the surface. I'm not quite sure if the emotions are too profound for the world to understand, or if I am digging much too deep into this.
It's as if I've dug myself into a whole that stretches for infinity, as if I my mind is like the a barren desert. I feel as though I am walking like a ghost, acting as a bystander to my life. I feel as if I am forever squinting with a furrowed brow, trying in vain to uncover the cause of this disastrous feeling.
If colors could describe myself, I'd choose beige, for what color could represent Raisin Bran without the raisins or Frosted Corn Flakes without the frost? Maybe a dull gray would work. Not the type of gray that pairs with yellow or the type to be associated with sophistication. I mean the lifeless gray that occupies the space between black and white, the substitution gray.
But would you understand if I tried to, struggled to explain this to you? As I stumble over my words, will you finish my sentence for me? Or will I be left in this gaping whole, alone?
