Our Love Is God: A Heathers x Danganronpa Mashup

Chapter One

‘Byakuya told me he teaches people real life. He said real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn how to fly. I said, “so you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?”, he said yes. I said “you’re beautifu-”’

“God, come on Sonia!” Sonia’s hand is off-put by the interruption, a groan escaping her lips. In view is Celestia Ludenburg, following behind Nagito Komaeda carrying a tattered edition of ‘Catcher in the Rye’. 

“What’s your damage, Celestia? You ruined my-” 

  “God, I’m so sure. Don’t blame me, blame Byakuya. He told me to haul your ass to the caf, pronto,” Celestia turns to Nagito, “back me up on this, Nagito.” 

“Yeah, he really wants to talk to you.” 

“Okay, I’m going, I’m going. Jesus.” Sonia sighs and grabs all of her things, following behind Celestia and Nagito to the cafeteria of their high school, Hope's Peak. 

    Once they arrive, Sonia, Celestia, and Nagito follow up behind Byakuya, who is styled in all red, “hello, Byakuya.” responds Sonia submissively, Byakuya glancing at her with a smile as he pulls out a blank piece of paper and a fountain pen. 

“Sonia, finally. Got a paper of Kazuichi Souda’s. I need you to forge a hot and horny but realistically low-key note in Kazuichi’s writing and we’ll slip it into Chiaki Na-nom-nom’s lunch tray.” Sonia frowns, rolling her eyes. 

    “Shit, Byakuya, I don’t have anything against Chiaki Nanami.” Byakuya scoffs, thrusting the piece of paper into Sonia’s hand. 

    “You don’t have anything for her either. Come on, it’ll be very. The note’ll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks.” Sonia looked at Byakuya with disgust, folding her arms over her chest. 

    “I’ll think about it.” Byakuya looked away, scoffing lightly. 

    “Don’t think about it,” Sonia, Byakuya, Celestia, and Nagito looked in the direction of Chiaki Nanami, who put two jello cups guiltily on her tray and walked forward in the line. Sonia groaned and stretched her arm out, grabbing a pen that Byakuya held, “splendid, I’ll dictate. Sonia needs something to write on. Freak, bend over.” Celestia and Nagito bend over, making Byakuya laugh violently and rather loudly. “How nice, two assholes, no waiting.” the two stand up straight, a blush on each of their faces. 

    Byakuya sighs, “Nagito Komaeda, back down,” Nagito bends back down and Sonia begrudgingly sets her pen and paper on the boy’s back. Byakuya looked over Sonia’s shoulder, “dear Chiaki, you’re so sweet-” 

    Across the room at the Jock’s Table sat Kazuichi Souda and Mondo Owada, their eyes looking over in the direction of Sonia and Byakuya, “it’d be so righteous to be in a Sonia Nevermind-Byakuya Togami sandwich. Punch it in, Mondo.” Kazuichi grins as Mondo fist-bumps him, laughing obnoxiously. 

    “Hell yes. I wanna set one of them on my Johnson and just start spinning them like a fucking pinwheel.” Mondo makes a twirling motion with his finger, laughing. 

    Sonia finishes the note, her and Nagito standing up correctly, Byakuya looking around hawkishly towards the line. Sonia hands the note to Byakuya, who looks very impressed with it. At that moment, Chiaki pays the cashier and carries her tray towards Sonia and the other three. Celestia giggles, tugging on Byakuya’s sleeve. Byakuya hands the note to Celestia, Celestia sneaks up near Chiaki and tucks the note on her lunch tray. 

Celestia sneaks back, the group watching the girl walk away past Makoto Naegi, with a spectacled Yasuhiro Hagakure. The two sit at a table with a cashbox reading ‘THE FOODLESS FUND’ as well as a banner that reads ‘HOPE’S PEAK FEEDS THE WORLD’. 

“Come on people, let’s give that leftover lunch money to people without lunches! Those tater tots that you threw away today are a delicacy in Africa! They’re Thanksgiving dinner!” Makoto cries out to the public, sighing loudly after. 

“God, aren’t they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?” Celestia remarks as she sits down, the others following her lead. 

“Oh sure, Pilgrims, Indians, tater tots; it’s a real party continent,” Sonia remarks back, chuckling lightly as Byakuya dives into his red back and pulls out a clipboard. Sonia raises an eyebrow, she could have just used that instead of Nagito’s back. 

“Nevermind, guess what today is?” 

“Ouch, the lunchtime poll. So, what’s the question?” Nagito leans in and looks over Byakuya’s shoulder, asking the same question. Byakuya sighs and whacks him with the clipboard on his head, Nagito drawing back with a hand rubbing the area where the clipboard made contact. 

“Goddamn, Nagito, you were with me in Study Hall when I thought of it,” Byakuya sighed and rolled his eyes, his thumb pointing in the other male’s direction, “such a pillowcase.” 

“I forgot,” Nagito admits a bit embarrassed and hurt, a slight flush on his pale complexion. Byakuya and Sonia stand up with the clipboard, leaving Celestia and Nagito, who opens his book of ‘Catcher in the Rye’. 

“Hey, this wouldn’t be that bizarro thing you were babbling about over the phone last-” 

“Shut up, it is. I told Yasuhiro if he gave me another topic that was about conspiracies, I’d spew burrito chunks.” Sonia shakes her head, her eyes meeting with another’s. A boy sits at a table far back with his combat boots on the table as he fiddles with a knife, his hair laid specifically to where it hid his face when he looked down. Except at this moment, his head was tilted to meet her eyes. She noticed the different eye colors, one of his eyes was red and the other was grey. He had a long scar from the top of his forehead to his cheekbone, his eyebrow raised. 

He smirked lightly at her, his finger tracing the blade of his knife. Sonia was so entranced that she accidentally ran into Akane Owari, who was seated and eating like there was no tomorrow.  

“Sorry, Sonia,” said Akane, her face morphed into a hurt look that resembled a kicked puppy. 

“Akane Owari, gosh,” Sonia crouched down near her, a look of worry on her face, “I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it to your birthday party last month.” Akane smiled at the blonde, shaking her head. 

“That’s okay! Your mom said you had a big date. Hell, I’d probably skip my own birthday party for a date.” Sonia gently laughs, a small smile on her face. 

“Don’t say that.” Akane perks up, diving into her bag. 

“Oh, Sonny, you have to look at what I dug up the other day!” Akane comes out victorious with a picture of the two of them at Halloween. Akane is Clawdeen and Sonia is Frankie from Monster High. Sonia holds the photo with fondness, suddenly being tugged back by Byakuya. The picture falls on the floor, Akane picking up as she watches the two.