Love & War

Grace.

It didn't matter that King Nathaniel had killed hundreds, even thousands, of men in his lifetime — He never enjoyed it.

Leading his troops into battle and fighting alongside them had made killing become second nature to him, which should have resulted in him having some immunity to the negative feelings associated with the act and yet, as he stood on the balcony overlooking the partygoers, he felt sick to his stomach at what he would have to do.

Just a few more lives, and it will be all over — your vengeance will be complete, he tried to reassure himself.

Ah, yes, just a few more lives, just a little more blood, just a couple more screams of dying men, women, and children. His own voice taunted him.

His vision tunneled as the world around him began to spin. Nathaniel pressed a shaky hand to his temple to quell his sudden migraine while the other hand gripped at the balcony railing for dear life.

What is happening to me?

His breathing became shallow and as he gasped for air it seemed as if he couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs. He wished he could just curl up on the ground until this passed, he wished he could lay face down on the floor and feel the cool stone on his face, he even secretly wished he had the courage to jump from the balcony and end all this revenge business right there but instead he closed his eyes and tried to breathe through it.

This wasn't the first time Nathaniel had gone through what his physician in Ninevea called a "fit," but the last time he had one of those was five years ago so it had been quite some time.

The fits started 10 years ago after the bloody Orthrad War. Right after that military loss, Nathaniel had the fits quite often but, as time went on, the appearance of the fits became few and far in between until he essentially stopped having them. He was going on 5 years without having a fit just for him to have one at the most inopportune moment of his life — and in Apalusia no less.

It took some time, but eventually his breathing evened, his balance returned, and his vision went back to normal. The migraine still persisted, there was a slight tremor in his hands, and he had some ringing in his ears but he could work with that. Now, it was time to do what he came to Apalusia to do—

"I am relieved that you are feeling better."

Nathaniel whipped around to see a small wisp of a girl looking up at him with something akin to concern in her eyes.

"I must admit, when you started to heave, I panicked a bit. I wanted to run and get help but I was worried that if I left you alone you would have fallen off the balcony — you wouldn't have been the first to do that actually. This balcony is a bit of a hazard during parties." She said with a gentle laugh.

Even though the young girl standing before him looked stunning, Nathaniel was not really in the mood for silly conversations at the moment.

"What is it that you want, little one?" He asked with a tired sigh.

"Little one?" She scoffed. "I would have you know that I am twenty summers ... almost."

He smiled at her indignation. "Ah, almost twenty ... but not quite."

"My birthday is in the upcoming month so I am, essentially, twenty."

"Almost," he added.

The young woman humphed at him, moving to stand beside him on the balcony so that she too could watch the revelry from above.

"Well, I have no idea how on earth we switched topic from you to me but I think we should realign ourselves and get back on track this instant."

"Is that right?"