Adolescence

Chapter 1

 Collins always felt as if something was missing when she left Harry. She thought it would be easy, no one stays close with their childhood friends anyway. But no one else had to watch the whole world fall in love with her Harry the same way she did. She was so proud of him when she saw that he was living out his dream and making something of himself, but she always caught herself wondering if any of his band's songs were about her. She knew it was a waste of time thinking about him. She had new friends now, ones she met through college and work. It was a small circle, but she knew that was all she needed. Plus now she had Mitch.

Collins met Mitch when she was twenty. It was 2014 and she was bartending at a small bar in Los Angeles, in order to have some extra money to pay for her college classes. Mitch quickly became a regular at this bar. The two developed the usual customer bartender friendship. She was extra nice in order to try and get a bigger tip, he was drunk and would tell her all of his problems. Pretty soon she didn't care about the tips anymore. Mitch began to cover her as she snuck herself free shots behind the counter, and in her drunken state, she began to open up to him in ways she hadn't since Harry. The customer bartender friendship developed into a brother-sister friendship as the two began to meet outside of the bar. She didn't know it then, but she knows it now. Mitch was her light when she was at her lowest point. He didn't take away all of the darkness as Harry used to but he was what she needed.

She met Jack when she was twenty-two. It was 2015 and she had an unpaid internship with a Public Relations firm that she needed in order to graduate. She was working at an event, making sure everyone found their seats and was in the right place at the right time. She doesn't remember much, but she saw his face. Harry's face. Of course, she had seen him on posters and in pictures but this was much different. She quickly turned around to run away from her problem and she ran straight into Jack. She would love to call it love at first sight, but now she wasn't sure if it was love or an escape. At the time though, she loved him. She told everyone who would listen that he was the one. Everyone loved Jack. He was a little bit older, but it was easy to ignore. While Mitch was Collins' make-shift therapist, it's been a year and she knew Jack was everything else.

The 2016 Grammys, the biggest night in music, and one of the biggest nights in Jack's life. Collins watched from her spot behind the bar as she filled up Mitch's cup for the third time since the show started. She replays the goodbye in her head. Did she say good luck? Did she even act like she wanted him to win? Her anxieties filled the room as they began to list off the nominees for Album of the Year. Sound and Color, To Pimp a Butterfly, Beauty Behind the Madness, Traveller, and 1989. Mitch watched her with every name called, wondering why she would be acting this way over an award that doesn't affect her. Then she heard it. 1989, Taylor Swift's fifth album, had one album of the year. She let out a sigh of relief and smiled to herself, a smile that didn't reach her eyes, as she saw Jack jump up and do his handshake with Taylor before going up to the stage and accepting the award. Mitch noticed something was wrong and looked at her before speaking up.

"You know you're supposed to be happy for him"

Collins leaned on to counter and rested her head in her hands, a wave of guilt fell over and as she said, "I am happy for Jack, I'm so happy it's just that every song is about him."

Mitch rolled his eyes slightly knowing he was once again having to be her voice of reason.

"Collins, its Taylor's album, the songs are going to be about Harry."

She thought for a second. She had already accepted this as true, but it wasn't the only problem she had.

"He calls You are in Love, our song. He didn't even know me when he wrote that, but he says it's ours." Collins began to explain and Mitch looked at her in a way that she knew she could continue. "He wrote that song for her about Harry. How is it supposed to be ours if it reminds me of him?"

Mitch debated his response to himself before taking a deep breath and beginning by saying, "you haven't talked since you were fourteen and you are still thinking of him like this. Maybe you should let go. You have Jack, you're happy."

Collins looked up from her spot at the bar clearly annoyed with this answer. Why was Mitch defending him all of a sudden? Mitch noticed this change and knew he had to say something.

"I have to tell you something, and you're not going to like it,"

"Cause I've just loved everything else you've said tonight," She responded with humor behind her voice.

"Collins, I'm serious," Mitch said sternly this time, "I got a new job, I'm writing music."

Collins instantly perked up at this. She knew that Mitch was insanely talented and could not believe he didn't tell her sooner.

"Mitch! Are you fucking with me? Why didn't you say anything" She screamed as she practically jumped across the counter to give him a hug. The rest of the customers in the bar turned their heads to try and get a glimpse at what she could possibly be screaming about. Mitch chuckled at her reaction, as he knew that she would be excited for him based on the bare minimum of information.

"Except, Lin, it's...uh...for Harry," He mumbled, hoping that maybe she didn't hear him and he could go home alive tonight. She set down the drink she was pouring for a man sitting nearby as she looked Mitch dead in the eyes.

"I want you to leave," She said slowly.

"Lin, I-"

"Please Mitch, just not right now," She said, turning away from him and occupying her eyes with the drink in her hand.

"I'm sorry," He tells her before making his way out of the bar. Collins looked at the strong drink she had been making, before closing her eyes and taking it like a shot, ignoring the complaints from the man down the counter who had been patiently waiting for his order.