Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash Vol. 2

17. A Lie and Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

"Yo, Harucchi! I heard, I heard, taking down Death Spots is, like, super cool! I might just get jealous of you myself! Yay, jealousy!"

While they were drinking at Sherry's Tavern, Kikkawa came over, as noisy and irritating as ever. Thanks to all of Ranta's bragging, it was widely known that Haruhiro and his group had taken down the Death Spots.

Well, not that I mind. Even if we just got lucky, it's true we took down Death Spots, and it feels better than being called the Goblin Slayers forever.

"Ahhh. Still, thank goodness," Yume rested her head in her arms at the table, sighing. "Honestly, Yume kept on thinkin' we might be done for."

"Y-Yeah," said Moguzo, sounding a little sleepy. "It was really dangerous..."

Shihoru looked resentfully at Haruhiro "...And a certain someone had to do something crazy."

"No, that was, you know..." Haruhiro scratched his head, then coughed to clear his throat. "—Yeah. I'm reflecting on my actions. I'm sorry."

"Huh...?" Shihoru looked down, awkwardly. "I-It was a joke. I wasn't blaming you or anything. Really, I mean it..."

Yume hummed pensively, "If Haru-kun hadn't stopped Tetrapods, Yume and everyone might've met our mutual disruption."

"...Yume. It's mutual destruction, okay? Not mutual disruption." Haruhiro had to correct her.

Yume cocked her head to the side quizzically. "Huh? Mutual deathtruction?"

"No, wrong. Not death, des. Also, it's not Tetrapods, it's Death Spots."

"Oh. Is it? It's all so confusin'."

"B-B-But, still!" Moguzo said, pointing to the knife-sword he had at his side. "It all worked out well in the end. All's well that ends well, they say..."

"That's right, huh. Moguzo, you ended up gettin' yourself a new weapon and all."

"Yeah..." Shihoru nodded. "That bastard sword was getting pretty beaten up..."

"I-It was, wasn't it?" Moguzo had a big grin on his face. "What should I do? About a name for this sword. I've been wondering what I should call it. I can't come up with anything..."

Yume offered "Carving Knife-kun #1" as a suggestion, but Shihoru reservedly objected.

It seems like Moguzo wants to give it a cool name, but what's cool, I wonder? External Blaze Executioner, or something like that?

Haruhiro decided not to say the name he'd come up with. No matter what, that one's just too awful. Isn't there anything good?

Ranta was off making merry with Kikkawa. Both of them were telling the other volunteer soldiers stories of their exploits with Death Spots. Somehow, they were making it sound like Kikkawa had been there, too, and Haruhiro wasn't sure if he was okay with that or not.

A little earlier, Merry had said she was going to speak to Hayashi and had gone up to the second level. Maybe this would help her come to terms with things a little.

Haruhiro took a sip of beer, frowning a bit. It's bitter.

I'm glad no one had to die. I'm relieved that I was able to survive. Still, I can't be happy from the bottom of my heart. Was it okay like that? Didn't I make a mistake? Wasn't there a better way, a better option I could have chosen? At the time, I thought it was the best I could do.

Right now, if I found myself in the same situation, I feel like I would end up doing the same thing again. But is that really okay? Wasn't there some measure I could have taken before we ended up in that desperate situation?

With nothing but regrets coming to mind, I can't really be happy. It doesn't seem that way for everyone else, though. Why is that? Why is it just me?

Haruhiro was the leader, and that made him different from the rest of his comrades.

Is that why? There's a gap there. Is there any way to fill it? Are things always going to be like this...?

"What's up?" someone asked, tapping him on the shoulder. When he looked, it was Merry. She was pretty close, which startled him a bit.

"...Ah. You're back?"

"Yeah. I am now. Did something happen?" she asked.

"Wh-Why?" he stammered.

"You were acting a little strange."

"Really? I don't think I was. There's nothing much... really."

Merry smiled slightly. "You're a bad liar, Haru."

"...Am I?" Haruhiro slid his chair over a bit and Merry sat in the seat next to him.

Yume, Shihoru and Moguzo were still passionately debating what the knife-sword's name should be.

I found myself wanting to talk to Merry. A few days ago, I might have opened up to her about my worries, but I won't do that anymore. Probably, it's because I've developed an awareness of my position. Whether or not I have the ability, or the aptitude—I'm the party's leader, aren't I? If I don't keep myself together, everyone will die.

"Really, it's nothing." Haruhiro said, then smiled and added, "Well, that's a lie, but I'm not lying."

Merry put her hand on Haruhiro's shoulder again. Merry's soft hand didn't linger long, but it was enough to make Haruhiro feel rewarded for his efforts.

I won't laugh at myself for being simple and easily pleased. When something makes you happy, it's okay to be happy. Because the good time won't last forever. They might end at any time.

"Hey, Haruhiro!" Ranta and Kikkawa had their arms around each other's shoulders and came skipping over to him. "The rest of you guys, too! C'mere for a bit! Kemuri from the Day Breakers just happens to be here for a drink, and he wants to treat us to a round for taking down Death Spots!"

"You may never get another ce-chan like this, Harucchi! Ce-chan-ce-chan!"

"...What's a ce-chan supposed to be?" Haruhiro shrugged his shoulders and sighed, then blinked a few times. "Huh? Wait, the Day Breakers? You mean Souma's group?"

"Ohhh," Yume's eyes went wide.

"...Somehow, this has turned into a big deal..." Shihoru shrunk into herself.

Moguzo kept standing up and sitting down, saying, "Wh-Wh-Wh-What should we do?"

"It's a kind offer," Merry said, looking unfazed. "So why don't we go?"

Haruhiro was a bit surprised to find himself immediately nodding. Up until yesterday, regardless of what the final decision had been, he would have started by hesitating. What was different between the him of yesterday and the him of today? What would the him of tomorrow be like?

If he didn't die today, he would get to meet the him of tomorrow. Just perhaps, that might be a wonderful thing.

"Let's go, everyone," he said.

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This is the end of volume 2. Didn't expect that someone will read this light novel here. Anyway I have copies upto volume 14. Dunno if that's the end of the story tho. Enjoy reading!