Always Acaster

Mysterious love

"I went to the cheese rolling for the first time this year. It's weird.... isn't it. No because beforehand you keep bumping into all these macho guys that are... bit like me. Alright you don't need to laugh at that bit. No but you have these macho, these macho guys walking around getting, getting pumped up for the race, is it a race? I won't lie I still don't know the objective you see someone with a medal you're like oh congrats, turns out it's for participation and now you look like a right dickhead. No and then you watch the race and some noodle boy wins because they were just like, Let's fall over and see what gravity does, They don't try to control it they just break their necks, and they, they're the ones that win, if you can call it that, they're still broken, that ladies and gentlemen is how I met my girlfriend. Who left, she left Rowan Atkinson for me" aaaaaaaahahaaahahaahahhahahaahahanohatetohimtholovejohnnyenglishbutfunnyturnofeventsaaahhaahhahahaahhahahaahaahahahhahahahahahahahaahhhahahahhahaahahhahhahhaahhahhahh

I wish Rowan was with me right now I mean we've been dating two years and my grandparents have been dying to meet him, and it's the Gloucestershire cheese roll legendary event. He probably should be here since two years of love and devotion apparently isn't enough to stop my eye wandering. How can I help the fact that a tall beautiful mysterious stranger kept looking at me. What would I say if he approached 'sorry I'm taken by a man that clearly doesn't want to take anymore steps in the relationship' or 'oh my god I must of hit my head only hallucinations can be this beautiful'. He probably won't do anything though, besides I'm with my grandparents and this is a nice little family outing.

Oh my god he's walking over. What do I do. What will he say. What if my grandparents return from the loo's too soon. " hi can I buy you a wheel of cheese" how could you not laugh and this charm.

"I like the adjustment to the line. Very smooth" no I was biting my lip as I said it.

"And about the cheese" it's too early to say I love this man isn't it.

"You know what yes it would be perfect" we walked over to the stall at the top and he bought me cheddar did he know it was my favourite or are we just so similar. I've already picked up on how charming his smirk is, I'm heading into dangerous territory, and I let him buy the cheese. But if Rowan doesn't take our relationship seriously neither will I. But this is a total stranger for all I know he's a mass murderer.

"Oh god I've not asked for a name yet how rude of me what are called?"

"James Acaster!" Oh god I've definitely heard the name before but where. "And you are?"

"Alice Shepard" I would like my name if my initials didn't spell A.S.S and that was the topic of my bullying at school. " so what do you do"

"Umm comedian. How about you?"

"I'm a script writer. Nothing interesting though"

"No that's so cool you must love it" god 2 minutes and I already feel loved and supported by him-this can't continue.

" I really do you know. I should really join my grandparents but thanks for the cheese"

"Wait can I get your number?" I should say no, I should say I'm in a relationship but too late for that so I guess I'm writing out my number and handing it to him.

A week or so goes by since my encounter with the beautifully stunning Acaster. I can't stop thinking about him even when Rowan's going down on me. Last night I had to bite my lip to stop me from screaming his name, and yet he's not called me. I gave him my number but I guess it meant nothing. I guess it should mean nothing, I'm in a committed relationship but Rowan's not committed to seeing my family yet... "Rowan we should break up"