Letter to my (possibly ex) friend, Cassie.
{February 16th, 2021}
And just when you think you know who your real friends are.
I love you. Truly I do. And I'm genuinely sorry for saying the thing I said that obviously made u upset. But heres the thing; i didnt know it would make you upset. It was a fucking joke, a joke we've both made before. It wasnt to be taken literally, and I didnt mean anything by it. I was being dramatic. I didnt mean to hurt you. But, the fact that you've blocked me, and are essentially letting 7 months of BOTH our lives go down the gutter, honestly pisses me the fuck off. Because I'd like to have a mature conversation with you, like we always do, so that we can heal and move on and continue being friends, because we are genuinely so close that I wouldnt want to loose you over me absentmindedly saying something I probably shouldve have said. I went to your friends for help, but obviously they didnt do much. I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I miss my friend. I miss you. It would be nice to actually let you tell me your side instead of you blocking me on every account I own because I fucked up and said something that was taken too hard. If we could do it before, why cant we do it now ? That's all I ask. But, if you DONT want to have a mature conversation about this for some reason, then fine. Be that way. But dont expect to be welcomed with open arm if or when you decide its convenient for you to come back and try to be my friend again. Because I'm upset now. At first I was sad, now I'm just angry. I've put my all into our friendship for months, I genuinely considered you one of my best friends. You have no idea all the things I wish I couldve said to you. I spent forever trying to make you see that you're worth something, that you matter, and yet you said I'D be the one to leave YOU. Look who's not yet reached out. Kinda funny, huh. You can go and pretend I never existed, or say I never mattered, or sit there with your friends who've known you way longer and claim your bond is 'unbreakable' whatever, but dont sit there and convince yourself that I was a bad friend, or that I didnt care about you, or that i never made an effort to show you that I loved you. Dont you fucking dare. So, do as you please. It's your choice not mine. Because dont think for a moment that if you CHOOSE to let go I'll be laying in my room crying like a bitch, because I wont. I'm done trying to please people who only want to leave me. I'm done. I've done all I can do. Your turn, darling.
- Andrew
