i dont do pain

for no reason at all *eats ass and cries*

Kazuichi had many irrational fears. It wasn't a secret that he was a cowardly person, though many things that scared him were quite common. Murderers, fires, being near Komaeda when he had a stroke of luck- things that most people would reasonably avoid. But some things he was freaked out by were a bit strange. Big dogs, glass bottles, and cigarettes being examples.

He would consider his fear of eyeliner to be the most queer.

It wasn't exactly eyeliner itself, but the act of putting it on and having it on his face that sparked an undeniable terror in his heart. He was quite good at it, and truly used to love the way it looked, but...

It was back in middle school when he began wearing it. It was an attempt to get people to stay away from him. Dramatic eyeliner was typical of the goths in his class, and no one even acknowledged them.

The plan had backfired.

One morning, as he was drawing on a wing, his father entered the bathroom. Kazuichi jumped so hard that the pencil flew out of his hand, a line of makeup now stretching to his ear. He wasn't supposed to be awake yet. Ice cold fear spread in Kazuichi's stomach. He didn't even bother turning around, watching his father's once sleepy and hung-over face morph into one of rage through the mirror. At that point, the memory fades, but he knows what happened despite the fogginess.

Now in highschool, he's still far too afraid to pick up the pencil. He sees his classmates- Gundham, specifically, as he somehow is still masculine with all the makeup he wears- and can't help but miss his eye look.

He sometimes found himself staring at Gundham, longing to be able to put on extravagant makeup and not feel like a laughing stock. Fuyuhiko had called him out on it many times, but he always excused it as "I'm just makin' sure he's not makin' moves on Sonia-San." or something along those lines.

It was much harder to make an excuse when Gundham himself was asking you about it.

"Souda." He jumped as the taller boy turned to look him in the eyes, catching him in the act and pulling him out of his daze. "Is there a reason I can feel your eyes boring into the side of my head? Or are you simply entranced by my demonic aura?"

Kazuichi felt his words catch in his throat. The class around him was still bustling but he felt as if time had stopped. Gundham's face was stoic, baked in his typical fake scars and dramatic eyeshadow. Kazuichi felt his eyes roaming the art, which no doubt was the reason Gundham tugged his scarf above his nose and averted his eyes.

"Are you not going to say anything?"

"Ah-" Kazuichi began, trying desperately to defend his honor, to make up any kind of excuse as to why he was staring at- "Your makeup. I was lookin' at your makeup."

Nice one, dumbass.

Gundham brought his eyes back to Kazuichi, skeptical gaze washing over his face, as if he didn't believe what the smaller was saying. There was a tense moment before Gundham spoke. "You- You're serious?" His 'crazy talk,' as Kazuichi called it, had been dropped, and his voice was meek.

"Um, yeah, I'm.." Kazuichi took a moment to gather his thoughts, not really being able to think with Gundham staring at him. "I used to do eyeliner and shit in middle school, but, uh, not anymore. It kinda scares me, so when I see you with it I get a lil' jealous."

Remind him to slap himself for opening up to Gundham later.

"Jealous? I'm not sure I understand. If you wish to fard your face, what is stopping you?" Kazuichi tilted his head in confusion. "To fard is to apply makeup." Gundham added.

"Ohh. Well..." He stopped, the memory of his father behind him in the mirror flashing in his mind. He felt the fear return, settling in his gut and weighing him down. "I dunno. Just can't do it myself, I guess."

Gundham seemed to consider this, letting his scarf fall and placing a thoughtful hand on his chin. "If you'd like," He began, "I could apply it for you. I'm quite trained in the art, and I can most likely mentor you in the strategies I use to perfect my maquillage."

Despite the pale foundation that covered them, Kazuichi could see a dusting of pink on Gundham's cheeks. He must be nervous. Kazuichi supposed that made sense. The only other person the guy ever spoke to was Sonia, and even with her there was little to no physicality. Kazuichi would be nervous too if he was offering to break his personal bubble for his (self-proclaimed) love rival.

Eyeliner wasn't the part that scared him. It was what came with having eyeliner on. A loss in masculinity, a risk when he entered his home. For those reasons, he obviously would have to say- "Yeah, why not."

Goddamn Kazuichi and his blabbermouth. He had gotten far too excited at the prospect of makeup, and let himself take a risk he was not mentally ready to take. Gundham's eyes brightened slightly, a smirk growing on his face. He rose from his desk with flourish, flipping his partially bleached hair with a bandaged hand.

"Then there is no time to waste! We must make our way to the lavatories, posthaste!" He was excited. Kazuichi could tell from the rise of his voice, the glimmer in his eyes, the smirk-turning-smile on his face. And he had to admit, that made him pretty excited too. He rose just as quickly from his desk, bounding behind Gundham as he led the way to the bathrooms.

"If you wouldn't mind," Gundham began, taking a small liquid liner from one of his pockets and looking down at Kazuichi. "Would you seat yourself on the sinks? Your short stature is not ideal for this process."

Kazuichi felt himself redden a bit in embarrassment, hopping up to sit on the edge of the sink. In an instant, Gundham's non-dominant hand was on his cheek and their faces were but inches apart. The hand (shaking slightly, Kazuichi noticed,) with the liner rose to his eye.

"Close your eyes, mortal." Gundham's voice was just above a whisper, and Kazuichi could feel his breath on his neck. He shivered, the situation making him feel warm in ways that he wasn't comfortable with. His eyes flicked closed, and Gundham began. It surely couldn't have taken more than five minutes, but for Kazuichi it felt like hours. His mind raced, unable to see, yet the image of Gundham's face in front of him plaguing his mind. The thumb that lay on his face moved a bit, unconsciously stroking his cheek. This was wrong. Very wrong, especially because Kazuichi was putting on makeup at the same time. Christ, what would his dad think?

The question was left unanswered, as Gundham backed away, looking into the mirror behind Kazuichi. The latter blinked a few times, straining his neck to see behind him. He looked the same as in middle school. Gundham did the exact same shape he used to wear back then. A sharp wing coming off of the end, black smudges at the bottom-

Pink cheeks.

"Is that the image you were looking for, Tamer of Automations?" Gundham asked from behind him. Kazuichi pushed himself off of the sink, leaning up close to the mirror to get a better look. He couldn't help but glance at Gundham through the mirror a few times. Such a presence behind him in this situation would have scared him, but...

"Hell yeah! Dude it looks so cool!" Gundham smiled for a fraction of a second, masking it with a cross of his arms and a cocky smirk.

"Of course it does. I have trained many years in the art of makeup application, I have mastered the craft by now."

They were both very happy with the result. Kazuichi backed up, placing a hand on Gundham's arm and looking up at him sincerely.

"Thanks, dude." Was all he could muster. They stared for a moment, a connection being made without need for words. And then,

"Um, do you have makeup wipes?"