Syverson

Chapter Sixteen

Syverson

A few weeks after we visited Irene, Vix, and I moved in together. The decision to do so wasn't ideal, more of a convenience than a desire on her end, at least.

Vix talked about how Softy moved in with her and Jess, grumbling about how awkward it was. Softy and Vix had mostly made up. They had a long talk about what he had said to her. He knew he had fucked up, and Vix accepted his apology. Which is why he still has teeth. However, Vix was still feeling uncomfortable living with them as a couple.

"I feel like a gross intruder or something. I don't feel like it's my home anymore. Like, I always put a robe on in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I never used to, unless Pete was staying over, and they usually spent most of their time at Pete's."

"Why don't you move out?" I asked. We were on my balcony, it was late, and Vix had wanted a cigarette and obviously wanted to talk about how she was feeling. So I wrapped a blanket around her and sat her on my lap while she smoked and talked.

"I'm lazy, I suppose. Or maybe it's that I've lived with Jess so long it's weird to be without her."

"You worried about living on your own?"

"No." I could tell by how her jaw was set that was at least some of it.

"Move in with me," I suggested. It wasn't the romantic way I had meant to ask her. I was going to wait until the lease on this place was up. But since she was feeling this way, it was a solution to both of our problems. My problem being I wanted her in my bed every night.

"What?" Vix asked. I didn't know why she seemed so surprised by the suggestion.

"Move in with me. You practically live with me already."

"I don't know. Maybe I should spend some time on my own. Live by myself for a while." Vix sighed and said under her breath, "I may as well get used to it now."

I was disappointed she didn't say yes straight away. More disappointing was that she thought she was going to be alone. "You don't have to be by yourself, Kitten. I can take care of you. I want to take care of you."

"Can you take care of me?" Her anger was surprising and sudden. "You'll be leaving in about nine months. What will I do then?" For a minute, I thought my heart would break, hearing her say that. We hadn't talked about me leaving since the day she came to my hotel two months ago. A lot had changed since then.

I held her face in my hands, "Look at me, Vix. There ain't no way I'm leavin' you now. If I have to leave, I'll be takin' you with me. Don't you have any idea how much you mean to me?"

She shook her head and tried to look away. Her eyes were filling with tears, and her little chin trembled. How does she not know how I feel?

"Victoria, I love you," I said, looking into her eyes, so she knows its true. "You know that, right?"

A tear spilled from her eye and ran down her cheek. I wiped it away quickly with my thumb, not wanting to see the evidence of my failure. I hated myself. I didn't ever what to be the reason she cried, and here she was, crying on my lap.

She shook her head. Her anger was gone, and she said, "you've never said that to me before."

I looked at her with surprise. I thought back and realised she was right. I wasn't one for I love you's much. I had always shown my love more in actions. Of course, I had said 'I love you' to plenty of girls and not always meant it. I didn't say it often, I just felt it. I think I had loved Vix for so long now that I thought she knew I loved her by the way I treated her.