Dear God, please don't let me get caught. I thought as I slipped out the backdoor and over the fence. Darkness consumed me, all I could do was hope that I stayed seemingly invisible for the rest of the night.
I had a date with an amazing, sweet guy. The only issue was my parents hated him. Maybe it was because he was twenty two and I was almost sixteen. They hadn't even met him, but somehow thought it was there place to judge. Jimmy and I never met in person before, but because of friends, we had been texting for almost seven months now.
Butterflies filled my stomach as I walked down the alley. This was the first date I'd been on since I fell for Kyle a year ago. I wasn't using Jimmy as a rebound, but he was definitely what I needed to get over Kyle.
All I could hear was my heart and the wind. I hid as a dog ran barking to the end of its fence, causing the owner to come outside.
Dear God, please don't let me get caught. I thought as I laid shaking behind some bushes. The man looked around, scanning the area for anything suspicious or unusual. Seeing nothing, he went back inside and I slowly stood up. When the dog started barking again, I immediately laid back down as fhe man came out. He took the dog inside, I continued to lay there for a few minutes more. If he saw me, he'd tell my father. If my father caught me trying to see Jimmy, then Jimmy would get arrested.
I walked until I was almost at the gas station and froze.
Dear God, please don't let me get caught. I thought as the sirens wailed and blue and red flashed down the street. It took a moment for me to realize how suspicious I look. I couldn't even see most of my body. It was covered with clothes as dark as the midnight sky. The police car sped past me, allowing me to breathe normally again.
I continued walking toward the gas station, but quickened my pace when it started to rain. I swung the door open and was hit with the strong scent of tobacco and candy. Normally the scent would repulse me, but someone instantly caught my eye. Tall with brown hair and brown eyes, Jimmy was the definition of perfection.
I knew I shouldn't have felt that way about him since there was such a gaping age difference, but I did. Age was just a number to me.
No words were exchanged, just friendly smiles as he took my hand and led me to his car. We climbed in and he locked the doors.
The windows were heavily tinted blue, and there was an old blanket in the backseat. Something didn't feel right. It felt like the kind of movie scene that my mother would turn off to protect my mind. No. Jimmy wasn't like that. He was sweet. He promised me that he wouldn't hurt me.
He pulled his shirt off and leaned into me. His mouth on my neck sent unwanted shivers down my spine.
"No. Jimmy, get off," I said as I moved away. He climbed on top of me without saying anything. I dug my fingernails into his back and clawed until he bled. "Get off. No! Stop!" I struggled to get the words out as his body pressed against mine.
I forced him off me and fought to get out of his car.
"Baby, please come back," he said as I stormed away. "I went too far. I'm sorry." He didn't realize that what he did was unforgivable. The only reason he apologized was to get me back under his body.
I turned around and looked him in the eye. He looked so innocent; someone who looks that innocent could never hurt me. I weighed the options in my mind. I could risk him hurting me again, or I could walk home. The door of the car was cold and heavy as I pulled it open lightly. He took my hand and pulled me in. Nothing in the world could touch me ... until he did.
Thrown into the backseat, I screamed and instantly regretted going back. It was too late. His weight on top of me was too much. He couldn't be forced off this time. Screams were wasted, nobody could hear me.
Dear God, please let us get caught. I thought as tears streamed down my face
This is all my fault. I shouldn't have turned around. I shouldn't have gotten back in the car. I shouldn't have come in the first place. I let him get to me. I thought I knew him, but in reality, he seduced me over the internet. This is all my fault. It's my fault I'm losing my value in the back of a car.
After what seemed to be forever, he rose off me and wiped away my tears.
"See, that wasn't so bad," he said lightly. "You just might be the best I've ever had."
He climbed into the front seat and I covered myself with the blanket. He drove me home silently, and as I gave him directions, my thoughts consumed me.
I can't call the police. This looks completely consensual I'm the idiot that went back. What would they do anyway? I can't be un-raped, my virginity won't come back, and the memory is forever. There's no point.
He parked his car behind my house and smiled at me. I got out as quickly as possible, jumped the fence, and ran in the house. As I heard him drive away, I started crying.
Dear God, why didn't you let me get caught?
