all of our yesterday's

This is a story about a girl. I know what you're thinking; that this is some pathetic love story where every teenage girl will fall in love with the love interest, when actually, it's quite the opposite, it's the truth; reality. This is a story about family, love, belonging, friendship, joy and hope.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if that one thing didn't happen or if you did something different? If you took a different path on the way to school, if you finally told the guy you've been crushing on that you liked him, if you actually said what you were thinking or if that teacher you've hated didn't give you a detention, if the school bus was on time or if that one person you thought would never leave you; left. We always remember the first time we've done something or been somewhere or met someone. We remember the sensation and the feeling but we have to play ti back over and over again until it becomes a memory.

I will never forget the day I met my new best friend. It was Christmas day, there was a party at Maya's house, and Maya had invited her. I had not known of her before this, but all my friends had friends that knew her. She was the kind of person who'd know exactly what was bothering you and know the perfect thing to say. Ellie would always protect you, even if you thought she got bored of you. She could use you or screw you over but she'd always come back to you; that's my favourite thing about having a real friend.

All the girls had come to my bedroom. I was sat on my bed while everyone huddled on the floor to play Truth or Dare. Ellie came and sat next to me and started to talk to me. "Why are you sat her all alone?" Ellie whispered into me. I shrugged my shoulders and looked away. "Okay. We don't have to talk but do you want to come somewhere with me." Ellie took my hand and we ran out of the room to her house. Maya was a great friend to me but I seemed a thousand times happier with Ellie. She challenged me, she was adventurous and we always had fun together.

Ever since then, I've been with Ellie every single day. Of course, there'd be days where she would forget to play with me and hang out with someone else, but she'd always come back to find me. We went to the park together every week, we went swimming together and I've been a part of nearly every family holiday. Ellie always gets me new clothes and shoes to try on and we'd have a fashion show or sometimes shed forget and only buy herself something. It okay, kids forget things sometimes, don't they.

I never thought I would lose Ellie until one day she came home from school and she brought someone home with her. It was her other friend, Lily. I tried to put on a brave face and think about all the millions of possibilities of what could be happening to me. She could be her cousin? It might just be a playmate, couldn't be anything like what we have. It could only be a one-time thing. She would never replace me, right? Right!? It couldn't be forever. You don't spend 4 years of your life with someone, every day and then replace them.

It took me a while to realise it, that Ellie was growing up, and I wasnt. It wasn't just Lily, it was Anna, Olivia, Bella, Megan, Audrey, Gwen and Stacey and I would always be at the end of the list. I would look through my window and see Ellie having a sleepover, or a party, or playing with her dolls and I remember how it used to be me.

Sometimes, Ellie will knock and my door and tell me how much she misses me and how she wish it could go back to how it was before and how this is just a part of growing up. Of course, I didn't feel that way but I smile and agree with her thinking it might change something. But it didn't. I had never felt so lost in my own home and in my mind without her until I had a reality check. I wasn't all she needed.

The day that Ellie was leaving for college I saw her. After sleeping in bed and looking out my window every now I then. I looked out to see all her clothes gone, the bed was stripped, and the boxes piled up in the room. She came to my bedroom and she sat down next to me. "Why are you sat here all alone?" Ellie said in a voice that didn't break so much as already broken. "Because your leaving me." I say solemnly. Ellie sighs. "I'm not just leaving you I have to leave everyone too. I don't want to leave you either."

There was a pause of silence until I heard Ellies mom shout.

"C'mon Ellie, you're not seriously still talking to the toys are you." Ellie lifts me up and smiles. "Maybe." She shouts back. "Do you know how embarrassing it would be to bring them with you. Please think about it before you end up taking the whole Barbie Dreamhouse." Ellie laughs lightly and whispers to herself. I don't know. I might. Probably not." She placed me back into my dollhouse and closed the doors.

There it was. For that brief second, Ellie needed me again.