Yeah so what. Maybe I was in love with Deku. So fucking what. It's not like I was ever going to tell him. And I sure as hell wasn't going to tell anyone else.
These stupid pathetic romantic feelings are holding me back. I will be the greatest hero, and having emotional attachments gets in the way of that.
During my middle school and high school years I severed all ties with anyone I cared about. That included Deku.
It was different with Deku though. I didn't just sever ties I bullied him.
I guess it was my way of keeping him in my life. Maybe I wanted to push him away, but I wanted to at least have some sort of connection.
I didn't want to ignore him completely. I still needed the fucking nerd in my life, whether I wanted to admit that or not.
I thought keeping us like this would sedate my feelings. I thought I wouldn't care anymore.
So why is it, that when shitty hair is running full speed at me, telling me to get to the roof immediately, that my heart dropped.
Why is it that my legs ran faster than they ever have, that I shoved everyone in my line of sight out of the way, and sprinted for all that I was worth to get to the top of the fucking building. Why is it that when I met the green emerald eyes I fell in love with, they held no more sparkle. No more determination. They held no life.
"Deku..?" I practically whispered. He was on the edge of the building, just outside the railing that was keeping him from falling hundreds of feet down.
"K-Kacchan? What are you doing here?" Deku asked, panic in his voice. He was scared
"Deku I'm not gonna hurt you, please just come talk to me." Deku laughed. He laughed a painful, airy laugh, and I could only just watch. Like a deer in the headlights, I was helpless. He was in control.
"You won't hurt me? Haha that's funny Kacchan." He continued to laugh, shaking his head, his worried and nervous demeanor gone. One of his legs was swinging dangerously off the edge of the building, only the grip of his hands on the metal bar keeping him grounded.
"Deku please let's talk about this, I didn't mean to push you this far." I was practically begging him to come off the ledge, sympathy laced in my voice. I couldn't lose him, not like this. My sympathy seemed to push him further off the ledge, his eyes darkening, a frown appearing on his fragile features.
"You didn't mean to push me this far? Then what DID you mean to do Kacchan? You don't get to act like you care, now that my life is on the line," A dark laugh is elicited from his chest, his face contorted to look at me with hate and disgust, and it made my heart stop. I was scared.
"Even if I do get down. Then what? You're just going to keep bullying me and pretend like nothing happened. I'm done with your games Bakugou." My name was venom on his tongue, he said it with so much disgust that I had to clench my fists into tight balls to keep myself from screaming.
"Deku i'll stop bullying you, I never meant for things to get like this, it wasn't your fault I've been so awful. Please just come down and talk to me." For a moment, the familiar Deku I know came back, he looked confused and hurt. He was conflicted. I was getting to him.
"We can fix things, we can go back to how we were kids, just please, come back to me." Deku's eyes began to fill with water, and he shook his head.
"I can't.." He whispered, his hands loosening on the bar. My eyes went wide and my arm instinctively went out, even though I knew I was too far to do anything.
"Izuku..." I whispered. He looked at me again before saying,
"Isn't this what you've always wanted... Kacchan?"
He let go.
My screams filled the sky as I watched him fall, my legs running toward the railing, trying to reach him, his fingers were just beyond my grasp and I jumped over the railing.
"I'm not letting you fucking die Deku! You're not leaving me all alone shitty nerd!" I screamed as my hands grabbed his. His emerald eyes were wide as we processed what was going on. I had jumped with him.
"It was just supposed to be me.." He whispered and I pulled his small body towards mine. I tried to use my explosions to turn us around, to flip us so that I would be the one taking the impact of the fall, and not him, but we were falling at a fast speed, and I didn't have time. Maybe if I jumped sooner, maybe if I swallowed my pride and apologized, maybe if I was a fucking decent human being, he would have been ok.
YOU ARE READING
How to Save a Life •.*BakuDeku*.•
Fanfiction**mentions of suicide** Bakugou thought he erased his feelings for Deku when he bullied him throughout middle school. At least he thought he did until he met Deku on the top of the school, ready to jump.
