Bread Breath (A Reader x Toast Fan-Fiction)

Author's Note

Welcome! I'm not exactly sure how you got here, but, I don't care. You're here now, and I'm glad you are.

You might be wondering, "can00dle, what the bloody Hell brought you to write something as peculiar and random as this?"

Hah! Well, a simple question comes with a simple answer.

I was in a good mood.

And when I'm in a good mood, I get inspired by the stupidest of things.

I was jamming to 'The Bidding' by TallyHall (which, by the way, is a great song, and you should most definitely check it out), absolutely jamming to it, and I saw my father eating toast. My brain must've been in a weird 'desperate to write a fanfic' type of mood, because, just after seeing that I was like,

"Wait a damn minute... I HAVE AN IDEA, AND IT'S AN ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS IDEA AT THAT!"

And so, I ran to my room, pulled out my phone, and began to type.

So, here we are now.

Now, you also may be wondering "how is this considered a fanfic? There wasn't some original story where toast and I coexisted? And, let's say there's the other option for fanfics; you surely aren't a fan of me or toast?"

Well, actually, I am! I am a fan of you, and I am a fan of toast!

Look at you, you're absolutely amazing! I adore you, and just knowing that people like you exist brings a smile to my face!

Seriously, have you seen yourself? Do you know yourself? How can you not absolutely love, adore, and take immense pride in yourself? The fact that you don't constantly do that is just beyond me, I can't understand it no matter how hard I try!

And, yes, I promise, I am talking to you! Don't think that this isn't directed towards you, because it most certainly is!

Unless you're Trump, or Shane Dawson, or are a centipede— well, you get it.

Okay but seriously, if you're a centipede: get the Hell out of here, I'm not falling for your tricks. You are my enemy and always will be. Bleh.

If you're just a chill person who loves toast, I love you. That's just how it works. You can try to run away from the fact that you're absolutely incredible, but you can't ever truly escape from it. You are you; you always have been and you always will be. I'm glad you're you, because, damn man, you're fabulous!

Another reason as to why this is a fanfic: I like toast. Toast is nice. Toast tastes good.

Anyways, on with the fanfic! Enjoy yourselves, ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary citizens, because this is sure to be nothing short of an emotional roller coaster!