cha cha real smooth

You're shopping in Tesco, searching for the lunchables packs that come with oreos instead of ham; you like to live on the frisky side of life.

Suddenly while reaching to grab the holy packet of goodness you bump into a man and drop your lunchables on the floor.

"H-hey girl sorry" the mysterious man says as he picks it up to hand to you.

As he stands up you see his face for the first time, oh my god. It's Boris Johnson.

The beautiful man before you flicks his head to get his luscious corn-silk locks from his face as he hands you the packet with a wink.

You gasp at the prime ministers utter beauty.

"If you w-want to see m-me again" he whispers into your ear seductively in his beautiful stutter, "then meet me at my place"

He then swaggers off to the exist of the shop, leaving you alone in the dairy section of your local Tesco's.

Two hours later you are washed and dressed up to go meet the dreamboat man at his pad at 10 downing Street.

As soon as you knock the door he opens it and invites you inside, his sexy grin making you blush deeply.

After a lovley meal of steak and oven chips which the PM cooked himself, you relax and he shows you his dancing skills.

With a rose held in his mouth, and DJ Casper's "Cha Cha Slide" playing alluringly in the background, Boris starts preforming the most delicate and perfect exacusion of the cha cha slide dance you've ever seen.

As he cha cha slides around the living room never breaking eyecontact with you throughout the entire four minutes and fourteen seconds of the song, the sexual tention between you is unbearable.

As soon as big man Boris finishes his exquisite dance with a very epic dab, he walks over to you and stares deep into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Hel-lo baby g-girl" he grins, pushing you up against the wall by your shoulders, "w-want to see what else I can do" he teases

"Y…yes please bor-bor" you reply impatiently

You and Boris then proceed to make love for 12 hours striaght, only stopping so beautiful Boris can practice his nightly cha cha slide once more.

Unfortunately Boris is killed in the grand final of the world international cha cha sliding competition two months later, his cha cha was truley just too epic for this world.

Luckily the next day you meet another painstakingly gorgeous man in the bread isle while you are reaching for the naan bread… and this time his name's not Boris…

It's David Cameron.