Behind the Scenes

Chapter 8

Rosa

I don't cry after Gavin leaves. I'm not really Sad. Honest. But I am angry.

I'm angry because he seriously walked into my space and told me that compromise was the right thing for me to do if I cared about him.

"Compromise is great if it's like, where we eat dinner, or how often we spend time with each other, or what kind of music we listen to in the car." I said. "Not sex. You don't get to tell me what I should be comfortable with. Especially not after one week."

And that was pretty much the end of it. Except the storming out and banging on the door and Caleb low key threatening him.

I'm still locked in the studio. I pick up a canvas that I pre-painted black, and I go over it with a coat of bright white, along with an extra medium that will make it look like it's cracking in wide swaths all over the canvas.

Like me.

After it dries, I'm going to paint drips coming out of the cracks in different colors. Like me.

Blue- "You probably deserved this."
Pink- "You could have just done what he wanted."
Red for Rosa- "How do you know another chance will come along?"

I jump when I hear a knock on the door. When I open it, Caleb's standing there, looking sheepish and shy. I turn and walk back to my canvas silently, but I don't lock him out.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I say. I set the canvas aside to dry. "I need to work on stuff for my show anyway, so I don't think I'll be good company right now." I get another canvas set up, and he still hasn't said anything. I look up at him and meet his gaze. Angry tears well in my eyes, and I look away.

"Talk to me, Prima." He says softly.

"You didn't kill him, did you?" I ask.

"No." He says. "Should I?"

I shake my head, sketching out a rough design on a new canvas. I hate it. I put my pencil down.

"I should have known better." I say. "Decent guys don't..." I trail off. Some things feel too rotten once I say them out loud, so I try to keep them at bay. "I just wasn't quite what he hoped for, I guess."

____________

Ryan

I try to give her some space. I go home, I cook dinner, I help Ash with her homework. I remember that I'm going to have to go grocery shopping soon, and I realize I don't want to do it without Rosa. I text her.

Me: Hey. You okay?

Rosa: I'm single. And angry.
Rosa: So no.

I dial her number and press the call button. It rings twice, but the call is rejected. A few seconds later...

Rosa: I don't feel like vocalizing right now. Sorry.

Me: What happened?

Rosa: Gavin broke up with me.

Me: HE broke up with YOU? Why...?

It takes a few minutes for her to respond. This is why I like talking on the phone more than texting. I hate not being able to pick up on social cues. I guess in a situation like this, that's what she likes about texting.

Rosa: I missed the memo about "big girls are easy" switching from a trope to an expectation.

Being kicked in the chest. That's the sensation I feel. I actually exhale loudly. I rub my face with my free hand and initiate a video call with the other. She rejects it.