MC x Saeran

Chapter 1

I shivered when the door opening, trying to cower away from him. Every day it was a new kind of torture and every once a while I would see a different part of him.

I could have avoided this, I could've been a dumb naive girl that he assumed me to be, played by his book, and could've just escaped.

I shouldn't have trusted him- a freaking stranger. I shouldn't have gotten curious just to see if it was just a game or not.

Even under the blanket, in this hot summer, I shivered when I hear his footstep. I looked at the mark on my body, tears falling down unbidden.

How could I survive one more day? Did I even want to survive another day? Every day, he talked of paradise, of how he would help me reach there if I was a good little toy.

I was shaking when I realized the familiar shoes in front of my eyes. It was always an out-of-the-body experience, a never-ending trauma, repeating every day.

One would think I would be used to this by now, yet every day felt fresh. It felt like the first time when he ruined me and my innocence.

Yet, a small part of me cared for him even though it sounded twisted. Every time, I had pretended to pass out after a brutal abuse of my body, I would listen to his struggle. My hands had ached to touch him yet I had no strength myself to offer him some.

I prepared myself for the abuse but was caught surprised when he caressed my hair. I froze, tears falling but for a different reason.

I couldn't remember the last time someone had touched me so gently. He knelt down in front of me, wiping my tears.

I dared myself to look at his mint-colored eyes. He looked almost serene, watching my movements. A part of me was still afraid of what was to come.

I lifted my hands hesitantly, a sudden urge to touch his face. What was happening to me? I couldn't understand what I was feeling. His abuse was fresh on me yet my hands yearned to touch him.

I bit my lips, shakily placing my hand on his cheeks. My tears had finally stopped. He almost jerked away from my hand. I looked up in alarm. His eyes were shining, a telltale sign that there were tears in his eyes.

Who is he? I wondered for the thousandth time. He looked so young, around my age but why does he want to inflict such pains on me? It almost felt like looking at a different person.

His hands were clutching his almost fully white hair except for the pink at the ends. Suddenly, one of his hands clutched mine so tight I let out a hoarse scream of pain.

"Stop" he muttered to himself. I tried to move away when his other touched my cheeks before prying apart the hand on my hair.

He fell back, avoiding my eyes as he buried his head under his knees. He was silent for a while.

I pushed aside the blanket and crawled closer to him, testing the shackles on my right feet. Luckily, he had removed the neck collar while I had been sleeping.

I knew this might end up in more abuse yet I couldn't find it in me to not do this. I wrapped my petit arms around him, a slight sting in my right feet.

His body froze under mine. We stayed like this for what felt like hours. The logical part of me knew he had been my abuser. This should feel wrong but why didn't it? It'd be a question I'd ask myself for as long as I lived.

"Move away," a sadistic voice said. I stumbled back, my back hitting the wall. His eyes weren't sad or shiny. It almost felt like a different person.

Am I hallucinating? Was it some kind of mind games that I wasn't aware of? It had felt too real. He had felt too real.

"You don't have permission to touch me. You're my toy. Know your place" he spat hatefully, forcing me to look at him, his hands tightening on my hair. Tears of pain were welling up.

Watching me tear up seemed to encourage him further, his eyes glaring holes at me.

"Understand?" he asked cruelly. My lips trembled but I tried to nod while he was still holding my hair. I wanted to break down. I was so close yet the epiphany I just had, came back to my mind.

Watching me cry encouraged him.

"Talk" he ordered, his mouth close to my ears. "Let me hear your voice tremble"

"I- I understand" I whispered. My throat was parched from the lack of water. His teeth bit into my skin. I was familiar with this yet I struggled. I had struggled a million other times for the past week.

A part of me wondered why I was holding on to life? It would be so easy to give up, to become a shell of a person I once was. What was the point when this has become my life.

I closed my eyes, feeling his hands on my neck, almost choking me. I wished he would put some more pressure just so I could escape this world. Why is he holding on to me? He had already broken my spirit. He had taken my life from me. I was a nobody now.

I had no family, no one that loved me. I could rot away in this room for years and nobody would bother looking. I felt dead inside, devoid of any emotions, not even fear.

Maybe one day he'd get tired of the toy I had become and would throw me away. He'd find another toy to inflict pain on.

My normal life seemed to have faded away. Maybe, it never existed in the first place.

"You will reach paradise soon" he whispered against my neck, evoking goosebumps.

"You like that, don't you? You want that" he goaded me. I shut my eyes tight, hoping I could wake up from this nightmare.

"Once the Saviour gives you the elixir, you won't have to live in pain anymore. You will be my perfect toy. You will love me" his voice was an evil whisper, filled with conviction.

He pushed me down, his hands on either side of my head. He cuffed my hands above my neck, his harsh hands on my body.

"You're so beautiful" his touch was gentle, almost curious yet he didn't try to grope me. Is it the other part of him? His eyes seemed to be filled with self-deprecation.

He closed his eyes, a stray tear falling on my cheek. I was too scared to do anything.

"Get out, don't control me" he whispered harshly.

"Stop it, you don't want to hurt her, Saeran"

"Ray, I will fucking destroy you. Do you hear me, you piece of shit? Stop controlling me"

I watched in shock, looking at the flitting emotions on his face. Ray and Saeran. The names were the only thing I could register.

After a couple of minutes of internal battle, the calmer one- Ray..?- seemed to be in control.

"I'm so sorry, MC" he whispered. "I promise, I will save you. I...I will do anything for you" he let me sit up, embracing me while I shivered profusely, holding on to him.

Did he have a personality disorder? I wondered. What made him act this way?

It felt weird getting comfort from the same person who abused me, yet he felt different. This wasn't the same person offering me comfort.

"MC, you will have to go on a mission before your ceremony. This is the only way I can prolong this" he whispered.

"Just..just hold me a little longer" I sobbed, drenching his shirt. His hands were in a fist trying to fight his inner self, before pressing a small kiss on my hair.

"I will hold you for as long as I can" he vowed, patting me while we sat in silence.

And I knew I will cherish this memory for as long as I live, no matter how fucked up it was. 

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(A/N):I'm still contemplating on whether I should write a prologue.