The Wings of the Beautifully Fallen

Chapter 12: Illiana

Chapter 12: Illiana

Why did I tell him to call me by name? Like that was going to change my mind. Was I really so foolish as to believe that those books that I loved so dearly were real? That they could really exist? That love and a life without pain could be real? I was so foolish and I knew that and, yet, there was nothing more that I could do.

My fingers brushed against the blue dress, sliding over the natural ripples of the gown as my eyes stared out the window once more. I really was not supposed to be standing here. I was supposed to be cleaning myself up, washing my face, and making myself presentable to the guests downstairs. In all honesty, it did not take me long to figure that out. In fact, it took me only a few moments.

But he was waiting for me downstairs. With the others and I could not find the courage to face him. He wanted to take me with him, to have me marry him, destined to be together or not. He claimed that he wanted to protect me. Did he not realize that the person I would need protection from was him? That I would need to hide to avoid the beatings?

Prince Reginald acted like being married was an amazing thing. In fact, they all did. The other queens and kings and princes. They all acted as if this was normal but a blessing. That things were good. Every time I had ate with them, saw Prince Reginald's mother by his father, I saw there was no fear. There was this gentleness and acceptance between the two. Not pain and suffering. It did not make any sense.

I wanted to ask about it, but I could not. If I did and Father found out, my siblings would suffer an unimaginable pain. A pain that I would not be able to protect them from.

My fingers curled into fists, my nails biting at my skin. I could not leave my siblings here, I could not allow them to suffer, but there was very little else that I could do. If Prince Reginald and his family spoke for me, demanding that I go and marry their son, I was sure that Father would do nothing more than demand that I go. I could not handle that. I could not abandon my siblings.

"Focus, Illiana. If all goes well, then you will not be sent away and you will not be married." I told myself, my voice interrupting the silence in the empty room. I could not allow myself to fall for Prince Reginald's tricks or his lies. I had to stay strong and prove that I can and will remain by my siblings side. I will because I have to.

With one last breath, I turned from the window and walked myself to the door, preparing to make my way downstairs and to face the others. However, the second I opened the door, I found myself staring at my brother Leo.

"Illiana." His voice was serious as he stared down at me, his eyes glaring at me in frustration. "What has been going on? You have been doing nothing but spending time with those people." Leo whispered violently, his fists firm by his side as he stared at me.

"It is not that I want to, Leo, I have to." I told him, trying to slid between him and the door and hurry downstairs. Eventually, Prince Reginald would be looking for me and I did not want to keep him waiting.

"If you do not want to then stop!" He exclaimed and I shook my head and nibbled at my bottom lip.

I could not tell him the truth, not about what Father had said. If I did, I knew my brother would do something reckless and stupid, something that would get us all punished. I could not allow him to risk himself in such a way that could get him killed. I had to handle this on my own, with no help. I had to do this to prove that I could handle myself with whatever Father throws at me. I knew I could do it because I had to.

"Illiana, how can I help if I do not know what is happening?" He demanded and I stared at him in surprise, his words reminded of another's. Of Prince Reginald's. Of the man that had asked me to marry him, to go away and then promised that we could return. Why did I not see it before? Their words and pleading to protect me was so similar, so strong, and so different. The main reason, Leo felt like he had to protect me and Prince Reginald wanted to. But even then, no matter their words, there are fights that I must fight alone.