break down here

Mile Marker 203

I turn my head away from the road to look at my gas gauge. It was leaning right on the edge of E, and when I inevitably ran out of gas I was fucked.

I let my eyes flick to the rear-view, eyeing the pouring rain. The huge storm that had rolled in the moment I left town. The harsh drops of rain had been relentless all day.

My car was in rough shape. I could see small tendrils of smoke rising up from the hood of my car, the clanging of some loose part, even over the torrential down pour.

From what my phone is telling me, the nearest town is still 50 miles away. I wasn't gonna make it, and that's that.

As I listen to the rain, and watch the winding road ahead of me, I let my mind drift back to Lakeview, my small suffocating town. I allow my mind to go back to throwing everything I owned into a black hefty bag, and tossing it into my trunk.

I shake my head, getting rid of any regretful thoughts, and reach over to grab my cigarettes. I click the pack open with one hand, and go to grab one through my teeth, when I notice they're gone. Turning my head, I look to the passenger seat, realizing that I've drunk the few beers I took with me too.

This would be such an awful place to breakdown. Nothing in front of me, or behind. Completely in the middle of no where. I would really be in deep shit if my wheels decide to stop moving. I look up to the sky, and practically beg God to keep me moving somehow, and not let me start wishing I was back in his arms. I force my tears back, I haven't cried a single tear, and I won't start now.

Just under 50,000 miles ago, before my radio was busted, and the bad blood between me and Harry was to much to handle, Harry had been telling me I was all he'd ever need.

But, love is blind, and I was naïve. He was just another dead end dream, paved with beautiful lies, and broken dreams of the rest of our lives.

I think being without him might actually be easier than leaving Lakeview. Everyone I had ever loved was there, but I wanted out, and I took my chance the second I saw it.

"Well if you hate this 'stupid fucking town' so much then why don't you just leave," He screams, putting stupid fucking town in quotes," Go, just go now."

We were in each others faces, although this seemed to be a recurring theme in our relationship. Fighting over staying in Lakeview, and leaving for a big city, and even bigger dreams.

Harry was a small town guy, through and through. Despite being the most flamboyant, and out-there character in our little town, he loved it here.

I could never understand how he didn't want out. Our relationship was always the talk of the town. The mayor's daughter, and the sheriff's son.

I looked at him, tears streaming down my face, and my voice dropping to a pathetic whisper, "You know why," I sniffle out, "I'm not going anywhere without you ."

"I can't Tess, you can't say shit like that. You can't be stuck here because of me. I know you hate it here, but I can't leave," he tells me, exasperation clear in his voice.

"I have to let you go," he whispers.

I shake my head, whimpers leaving my mouth. I crash my body into his, and allow him to hold me. I can't explain it, but the hug felt so final. After a few moments, I let go, wipe my face, and start my trek to my car.

I beat my mom home, and start shoving my shit into trash bags. After just a few minutes, I look down at my dresser drawers, and how bare they are.

Tears are streaming down my face as I slam my trunk shut, but as I sit in the driver's seat, and start the car, I will myself not to cry.

I pull out of my childhood home's driveway, and I know this is it. That I won't be back. I wonder if my parents will track me down, or just let me go.

I shake my head again, removing the painful memory from my mind. I don't need to thing of Harry, and how much I miss him already. I don't think of my mother's soft voice telling me that me and Harry would figure it out. I don't think of my father's rough hands rubbing up and down my back, or his loud voice telling me I should stop smoking.

I don't miss any of it, but I'd sure hate to break down here.

Mile marker 215

A/N if there's grammar mistakes, no there isn't