𝐒𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐞 ➸ 𝗌.𝗋𝖾𝗂𝖽

chapter seven

chapter seven.

FUNERALS were the worst thing for people to deal with. No one really wants to say goodbye to those they held close to their heart because they know they'll never seen them again. That's how Anna-Jane felt when Parker's mother called her the other day to talk about the service they were planning, though only a few words stood out to her the most was that they were doing a closed casket for the wake.

Those words made Anna-Jane's head spin with awful thoughts as to why the casket was going to be closed during the first service. She believed her tormentor must have treated Parker gruesomely for her not to be able to see his face one last time. A part of her wanted to ask Spencer what happened to Parker and go into every detail possible, so she could hate her kidnapper more, but she felt afraid to. She didn't want that description to be the last image she had of her ex fiancé- no matter how bad their relationship went.

She stared at herself in the mirror, her frown defining her face as she scanned her black dress. She wanted to stay home- to tell everyone she was sick, but she knew she couldn't. His mother loved her dearly and always treated Anna-Jane like her own daughter, even after she called off the engagement. 

A soft sigh escaped past her lips in an attempt to not cry, knowing today was going to be hard for her. She acknowledged the fact heavily that she survived and he didn't in the hands of the same person. They both endured some kind of torture, yet she was the only one who made it out. It was a hard realization that set in her mind the moment she was saved.

When she arrived for the funeral, she shared little to no words while being there because she felt everyone's eyes setting upon her, waiting for her to say something. They all saw the news, they knew what she and Parker bought endured, and Anna-Jane was convinced that most of them blamed her since she blamed herself. She always thought that if she did things differently, maybe he would still be alive- they wouldn't get back together, but at least he'd still be in her life.

She thought it was best for her to head straight home once the service was over, but Parker's mother, Eleanor, was quick to stop her and insist that she come to the reception at her house. Anna-Jane couldn't say no, regardless of how she felt awful to even stand in front of his mom.

Everyone was keeping conversation at the reception, yet at hushed voices as they slowly ate their food. Anna-Jane sat to herself, wishing her mother could have made it, even though she doesn't really like Eleanor and Parker's family very much. Her mother always argued with Eleanor about everything from Anna-Jane's relationship with Parker to the wedding. It's only because she never really liked Parker to begin with and his mother ended up being collateral damage in her anger.

"I'm glad you could make it, Anna," Eleanor smiled, sitting down next to her, "How are you?"

"I've been better," Anna-Jane honestly answered. She was never able to lie to her. "It's just this- it's hard, you know?"

"Yeah," Eleanor sighed out, looking around the room to meet wandering eyes, "But it's going to get easier soon, I'm sure of it." Anna-Jane nodded and looked down at her plate that went untouched, "You know, Parker really did love you."

"Yeah, he meant a lot of to me," She rephrased, not feeling confident to say she loved him. Their relationship wasn't perfect and she was certain everyone in the room knew that- his mother especially.

They knew each other since college and were great friends until they started dating. At first Anna-Jane paid it no mind, but Parker was highly insecure in the relationship, seeing that she became a lawyer and he stuck with a simple office job as an assistant. Due to his insecurities, he became overprotective of her and obsessed with the idea that she wanted to leave him. She didn't in the start of their relationship, but after the engagement she began to acknowledge his negatives ways and how they were only worsening day by day.

When the service was over, Anna-Jane felt like she could suddenly breathe. She drove silently in her car, keeping her mind blank since she only wanted to go home. For weeks that's been her main goal seeing that she was still scared to leave her bed. She knew that her kidnapper was gone, but she still felt uneasy by the thought that there are hundreds more like him. She knew that for a long time- even before getting kidnapped, but now she was beginning to really acknowledge how fearful and how possible it is to happen for someone. She no longer wanted to go to parties, be around her friends after work or anything remotely close out of fear that she wasn't safe- she never was.

Her body ached as she left her parked car and made her way into her apartment complex. Slowly, she walked up the steps and sighed with relief when reaching her floor, though before she could get to her door she glanced over her shoulder to look at Spencer's apartment.

Anna-Jane never heard any noises coming from his house- not a party, a gathering, or even him playing music by himself at 3 in the morning. She was more than glad that he was a quiet and well kept neighbor because if he was anything other, she wouldn't like him at all or have a conversation with him.

Her hand rested on her doorknob, her key jammed into the door being ready to unlock, though hesitantly she stopped to go over to Spencer's. She knocked on the door gently, hoping that he would answer, though after twenty seconds, the door never opened. She knocked once again and waited for an answer, but never received one.

She didn't know why she even wanted to talk to him, she had no clue on what to say, which caused her to walk back to her door. She suddenly felt stupid for her irrational thinking, knowing that if he had answered the door, she'd be speechless. She considered him a friend after keeping her company the other night, but she didn't know if he thought the same.

Without another attempt, Anna-Jane went her house and quickly threw down her coat onto the couch before laying her body on top of it. She draped her arm over her eyes and let out a deep sigh, though after a few moments, she heard footsteps coming from outside her apartment, following the jingle of keys. She could then hear Spencer's apartment door open as it had an odd creak whenever it was used.

Anna-Jane lowered her arm and stared at her door, hoping to hear him knock on it, but all she heard was his footsteps descend and his door shut closed behind him. She frowned a bit at herself getting anticipated before rolling over onto her side and letting her eyes slip closed. Maybe another time, she thought seconds before drifting off to a surprisingly comfortable sleep.