bruises

Guilt

Souda turned off his phone laying it on his side table, was this how it was meant to be
for him and Gundham,  always caught up in the fight for Sonia. 

Souda tossed in turned for atleast 20 minutes he couldn't seem to sleep, he was
focused on something he couldn't explain, the need to hug someone, the need to love someone
was driving him insane. But he had Sonia, right?

Soudas pillow was wet with sweat as well as the back of his shirt, sitting up he rubbed his neck.
"So much for sleeping," Souda mumbled to himself as he heard a knock on his door.

"Must be the food delivery," Souda thought to himself, getting up he walked towards the door,
unlocking it he met eyes with Haijme,

"Hiya Haijme," Souda said rubbing the back of his neck, the shading from his dark room
covered the fact of how exhausted he was.

"Hey Kazuchi!" Haijme said handing Souda a bundle of food,
"This should hold you off for atleast today and tomorrow, just text me
if you need more, we have plenty," Haijme said his friendly tone softer than normally.

"alrighty sounds good, you may wanna give Akane double.  Yknow her, the
Ulimate Gymnast," Souda joked with a snicker as Haijme laughed at the comment.

"Yeah, yeah, I've already packed her a few extra things," Haijme said with a smile.

"Well you better get going, Akane is probably waiting," Souda laughed holding the bag.

"Alright, see you Kaz!" Haijme smiled walking off, immediately Souda shut his door locking it.

Reaching into the bag he pulled examined the inside barely being able to see since the lighting,
"what the hell, canned corn?" Souda cringed holding the item.

Grunting Souda sat the bag  down on his desk, walking to his bathroom he turned on the water,
he set it to the coldest temperature.  He needed to cool off after tossing and turning.  Removing his
Jumpsuit then his underitems he stepped into the shower. 

Forcing himself to get used to the temperature he closed his eyes thinking of Sonia, Gundham even,
he wondered if he fucked up there relationship more than it already was, that was impossible, right?

Gundham kept scraping back to his mind, "why is he coming to my mind so much", Souda asked himself out loud holding his head,
"I can't stand him and his dumb little hamsters.." Souda said exhaling sharply, he couldn't
stand the fact to know he probably messed up there relationship even more. Gundham wasn't to forgiving, not even with Sonia.

After a quick wash he stepped out of the shower drying off with a red colored towel,
his hair dripping with water he threw it back in a ponytail, he didn't feel like drying it.
Walking into the main area he took a purple colored tshirt lifting it over his head he put it on.
Putting on some boxers and sweatpants he goes to grab his phone.  Only notifications from the groupchat.

"damnit, why do I feel this way.  It's not like me and Gundham are even friends.  We fight and scold one another all of
the time, so why... why do I feel guilty," Souda said to himself holding his head, it ached, had he always felt a soft spot
for Gundham, all of those fights over Sonia, all of those bickers. Have they all been hiding the painful the reality?