JasonToddxReader - I Don't Hate You

Chapter 8: It Starts Here

Light and darkness can be the most shallow, categorical means to describe a human being, one whose ways were never to their fault, never to their choosing, when an upbringing has caused either optimistic or cynical perceptions on the simplest things like the weather. Calling them someone who embodies 'light' would bring their minds up so high in the sky that they'll end up believing they will forever be too bright to corrupt or hurt another. That is almost never the case. With the lack of perfection with just about anyone, everyone is capable of hurt. Everyone can be capable of selfishness. It all boils down to their will, if they want to hurt that somebody. But capabilities can never be assured. Even just the thought of a corrupted act is evidence enough that one person is never just light.

And darkness? All the more is it so limiting, so detrimental to how one would end up perceiving themselves, to be labeled as something the world will never be in favor of, to cause such a belief that they are never desired, never to bring happiness, never to come up to someone's life and possibly make it better. For them to think they will never amount to being a star so bright that another's eyes would lovingly gleam at the sight of them. For them to be convinced that they are a shadow, undesired, a bundle of emotions that have long been thought of as unwanted, unhealthy even.

The world has always been cruel, creating such labels so human beings would be drawn to those of either the same or opposite types. Types that shouldn't make sense when just because one might see themselves in another, it ends up leading to the idea that a person is a mere idea. That they are a sort. Something to either want or avoid. Never something so deep that a common belief prevents you to finding out the depths of a person.

Love has never been about light or darkness. It has always been about depth. And depth can be infinite. Just like how love is an infinite spectrum. It was never about opposites. It was never about types. It was never about the surface.

Jason Todd was known to be a brood, never the one you could easily approach. Never the one to approach anyone. On good days, he would be seen laughing with his friends, raising his hand in class and have a great sense of humor that anyone can be charmed with. But those days can be counted. Most days, on days when he came to class with bruises all over his face, a hood over his head, scowling at anyone who dared to look at him twice. When someone would come up to them and he wouldn't do so much as respond. Those days were plentiful.

The days that have cemented himself as a guy to watch out for, a guy to be feared, a guy no one wants to mess with, were those when someone would get on his already irritated nerves. Those days, he used his strength, his fight, to hurt other people more than they should be, beating them further to the ground even when they were already down. Fights were normal in high school. It was always something to expect. And it most commonly ends up with a day's detention or even just a warning. But with Jason Todd? More often than not, he'd come out unscathed, and the other guy would end up in the hospital. Those days were the ones he was least proud of.

You, Y/FN, were troubled, harsh, often so angry, and spoke everything as truthfully as your mind would let you. You do not hesitate to hurt back, often even hurt first. You never let anyone talk to you the wrong way. You were strong enough to fight back at the world when it wasn't often so decent to you. You can almost never be told what to do. Any threat thrown at your direction, you will tear it apart with you bare hands before life will have any other say on it.

But it went far beyond to just being defensive against cruelties. You've hurt so many with just your words, caused so much tears, shed bucketsful of blood. So many times, you've taken advantage of other people's kindness and end up being so selfish as to only work for your own gain. You mostly ever thought about yourself. You never cared about what other's thought, about what other's felt. You've instilled so much fear onto so many people.