Best of Me! | BTS| OT3 FF

1.

KIM TAEHYUNG

DATE: 1/04/2017

DAY: Sunday

TIME: 10:30 PM

Dear Diary,

So the good days did end after all. Tomorrow, new session is beginning and I don't want to go. Last 3 week were so relaxing. Now, I don't feel like going back to the same old drudgery -all the boring lectures, annoying classmates, stupid homework. Ugh, just kill me right now.

And this time it's 11th grade too. Yesterday when I was chatting, with Sung Hoo, and Ji Hoon, they both said that Maths is going to be difficult this year -with all the trigonometry and calculus. I decided to check it and opened my new textbook for the first time. Damn, they were right. I didn't know what the fuck was going on . All the complicated symbols and formulas. I closed the books after 5 minutes. I was in enough bad mood, I didn't need more.

And why I'm in bad mood? Min-ji has accepted the follow request from my fake account in 2 days, but she still hasn't accepted the request from my real account even after 2 years. I mean can you believe this? Talk about being ignored.

I am deeply hurt by this. She is ready to allow some stranger to participate in her life, but I-who was so close to her for 2 fucking years- Is she going to ignore my whole existence? Was I that insignificant to her ? Or does going to America change you that much?

And like a complete doofus, I'm still hung up on her. I still look back at those times. I mean we were so close. Those times were probably the happiest of my school life. All the class bunking, fighting and laughing about stupid things,  all our inside jokes, how we used to try to balance just at the edge of the sidewalk - Oh My God I need to stop. I will start crying again.

Min-ji really was special. She's probably now too, but that thought makes me even more sad. And she was different. I still remember how she used to start fighting with other girls on applying make up to impress the "male gender". But I liked her much more than that- we somehow clicked. Both of our weirdness fit like a puzzle. The playlist she made for me- I still play it on repeat. There was some aliveness in her, that I never saw in any body else. And most probably will never will. God, I hope not. I don't want be alone forever.

And boy, I was in love with her. It was pretty clear that I wasn't hers, when I only got one farewell message from her saying, "Sorry Taehyung, I had to go." And that was it. That was our last contact. I have messaged her many times, but she didn't read them.

Things have turned so bad, Jimin just plain ignores for the whole day when I start talking about her. For last 2 years he has been telling me to move on but I never listened. But now I think, the time has come .I need to move on. This is too embarrassing. I have wasted so much time on missing her, thinking about her, when deep down I knew she's never going to come back. But this is it now. I am moving on now. Good luck to her. Good luck to me.

Did I really wrote one whole page about her? Oh my god- and then I'm thinking about moving one. But then this was necessary too. I have suppressed her memories for far too long.

It feels a bit light now. But, I hope this doesn't repeat. I don't want to go through this heartbreak business again. It's just too painful.

Till the next time,

Kim Taehyung.