It Ain't Like That (a Layne Staley fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen - Thank God

"Where's Mike and Layne?" I asked Jerry as I walked into the living room.

      "They went out to get groceries." He stated. I nodded and asked him if he wanted breakfast. He said yes and I explained to him that my cooking skills were so below average that he'd rather spend $500 on a Michelin star potato chip than eat a single bite of my burnt eggs and bacon.

       "Okay, so, McDonalds?" He suggested. I chuckled.

       "Sure." I only had one more full day in Seattle after this. I didn't realize it was already September first. The drive was cool and I made fun of Jerry's truck. We got there and he ordered a McGriddle while I ordered a shit ton of hash browns...no, seriously, I ordered five times the amount I thought I could eat. Well, I thought wrong since I finished all of them by the time we got home. Jerry was a cool guy and seemed to like some heavy bands.

       "Type O Negative?" I asked him.

       "Hell yes! I fuckin' love Megadeth, too." I was pleased with his tastes. When we got inside he put on MTV and Anthrax's Caught In a Mosh was playing. We both headbanged while we sat on the couch like Beavis and Butthead. Unfortunately, Layne and Mike walked in on the embarrassing moment.

       "You'll be headbanging to our video on there one day." I heard the bassist's voice behind me.

        "And I'll have designed all your outfits." I said, beaming.

        "Okay, so we'll see y'all later?" Layne said, already on his way out of the house.

         "Yeah. Good luck!" Jerry said and I did the same. You see, Mike, Sean, and Layne were going to meet with their current manager about something. Apparently, she and Jerry had dated and the breakup was messy, leaving the guitarist to hide out in the living room with me.

         "Play me a song?" I asked after a few moments of TV commercial ambience.

         "Uh—yeah, sure." He got up and grabbed his acoustic guitar. Sitting back down, he began to strum a relatively upbeat riff.

         "It's alright...there comes a time. Got no patience to search for peace of mind..." He had a lovely voice. It was rather smooth and I finally understood what helped make Alice's harmonies sound so amazing. The song ended and after my applause we sat in silence for a bit. Our eyes held onto each other's slightly wavering, comfortable gazes.

         "Your...I like your shirt." I said. His shirt simply said "FUCK". He laughed and put his guitar away, making conversation with me as he walked to the kitchen.

          "How long have you and Layne known each other?"

          "About two months. We met when he was on vacation in California." I explained.

          "When did you guys form the band?"

          "Well, it all started in the late 80s. Layne and I were good friends to begin with and managed to connect with Mike and Sean somewhere along the way. We actually played hair metal." I almost passed out from shock at the last sentence. Hair metal?! The stuff I utterly hated?

          "No way! Did you guys have the hair metal hair?" I asked.

          "Yes..." Jerry trailed off, laughing. Somehow he had gotten closer to me and his thumb, resting underneath my chin, pulled it upward so that my face was tilted towards his. Both of my hands were on his hips, pulling him toward me slightly. His lips then met mine, but it felt wrong so I moved my head away from his and dropped my hands from his hips.

         "Jerry, I can't. I know, I know, but I'm in love with Layne. I just realized it." I felt horrible. How could I have led him on like this?

          "Oh, God. No, don't be sorry. I know how he feels about you...I shouldn't have done that."

          "You're fine! Just to let you know, that kiss was only physical for me." I said, hoping to clear the air.

           "I totally understand. Ugh...let's just pretend that didn't happen." Jerry said, his thumb and forefinger massaging the bridge of his nose in stress.

    "Uh, yeah..." I trailed off. All my emotions crescendoed at that moment--I just kissed Jerry and I'm in love with Layne? I wish I could understand the human mind. I awkwardly excused myself from the room. Way to spend my last day here, I thought. Eventually, everyone got home and I heard Sean ask Jerry if he was doing alright, presumably due to the fact that he looked rather flustered. I gained my composure and walked out into the living room, making my ego up like a pompous performer.

    "Hello, my beautiful people!" I exclaimed with a grin. I cringed inside. "How goes it?"

    "The meeting was good," Layne said, "Shauna says she misses you." He added teasingly.

    "Oh, shut up."

    "No, but seriously, she says we should start writing tracks for our next album since Facelift is finally gaining traction." Layne relayed.

    "Yeah, definitely. Also, I think Athene here has something to tell you." Jerry said. All eyes were glued on me. Really, Jerry? Damn him!

    "U-uh...I--I...not really...um..." Layne chuckled at my nervousness. Sean emphatically added, "Oh, Layne! How I long for you..." The singer responded by slapping him on the shoulder.

    "Um...do you wanna go for a walk?" I asked Layne, and everyone's face almost said "Oh" as if they understood that I actually had to confess something to him. We found our way out of the house and entered the sun-bathed streets. Wait...the streets of Seattle? Sunbathed? The universe must've wanted us to get together, because that never happens. Five minutes of awkward silence and the shuffling of our sneakers later, I finally posed the question in a less-than-elegant matter.

    "What would you do if I wanted to date you but I kissed Jerry but it didn't mean anything to me? Like, I only felt physically attracted to him but not nearly on the level that I feel attracted to you? Oh, God, I shouldn't have told you that. Now you'll hate me. I think I'm falling for you?" The sentences came out a jumbled mess, much like my nerves at the moment.

    "You kissed Jerry? What?"

    "I--I don't know. We just had some...physical chemistry. But I can easily forget about that. In fact, I've already forgotten about that." I said, hoping I convinced him.   

    "I...okay. It's okay, I get it. I understand what you mean, and frankly, I don't care if you kissed him or made out with him or whatever. You know why?" He asked, his blue eyes burning into mine.

    "Why?" I asked, shaking.

    "Because I know you love me." He whispered, now millimeters away from my face. His eyes moved from mine to my lips. My breath became shaky as he pulled me closer to him.

    "Like now. I can see it in your eyes. I love you." We finally kissed as the orange sunset bathed our faces. Relief and warmth washed over me as I leaned into his embrace.

                And then all was well, if not for a moment.