𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗵-𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗹

𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃.

*disclaimer* in these chapters each character will have a point where they talk to ava or jordan, please note they are still dead it's just their imagination. tw:drinking, self harm.
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i grabbed my pillow and shoved it into my face, another stupid day without any happiness in my life. i turned over to see hayley still sleeping, a tear fell out of my eye watching her sleep peacefully, she had no idea what goes on in my life anymore. i didn't bother making my bed, i couldn't be bothered to do anything anymore, i lost all motivation since the accident four months ago. it angers me to see some people in this town laughing and acting like nothing happened, it hurts. i went downstairs and started to make hayley jam on toast for breakfast, it wasn't till she was coming down the stairs i noticed my scars were showing, i quickly rolled my dressing gown sleeves down and handed the plate to her.

"why you not having any?" hayley sighed.
"don't feel hungry, now eat hurry up." i said.

hayley finished her breakfast and went upstairs to get ready for the school day, my uniform was already down here from the night i slept on the sofa. i dusted myself of and quickly turnt my phone on, like i always do i message ava and jordan, obviously i wasn't expecting a reply, was never gonna get a reply even if i spammed both their phones.

ava smith💞
me: i miss you everyday gorgeous.

i shoved my phone in my blazer pocket when hayley came downstairs and poked her head into the living room.

"you alright missy, you look dead tired."
"i'm fine, razia is probably waiting for ya."
"nas is probably waiting for you too."

hayley grabbed her sisters blazer sleeve, missy grabbed her arm and pushed her slightly. her eyes started go blurry from her beginning to cry.

"missy what was that for?" hayley stormed out.
"no hayley wait." i  tried shouting.

i threw my  phone across the floor and sat down on the settee, i  put my head in my hands and started to sob, my life was falling apart and i had to pretend everything was fine just so hayley isnt taken into care again,
i have my boyfriend aaron but he always worked during the days now, which was probably helpful because it limited the times and how many times i harmed herself.

"missy are you coming?" nas called.
"yeah i'll be out in a minute." i shouted.
"hurry up it's freezing." nas sighed.

i looked into the mirror and wiped my eyes to make sure it wasn't obvious i was crying, not that everybody knew i always cried over it, i couldn't care about my appearance now ava's death has impacted me so much i wanna give up myself, but i can't, i can't hurt hayley and i can't hurt anybody else or we will all snap.
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"missy i know it's hard but we need to move on." nasreen said linking her arm with missy.
"i dont want to move on." i  walked away

nasreen stood there and watched me  walk away, she knew i  was struggling but there was nothing anybody could do until i  reached out and asked for help myself, for now i'm a happy kid who's life is perfect.
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"missy! you took ages." lexi walked over.
"i had to go see somebody." i lied.
"who? was it a boy." lexi smiled at her.

seeing lexi all happy with riz smiling and laughing made me so angry, how could she be this bubbly when her brother and her bestfriend in the world died, i couldn't not stay quiet, i had to do something, for them.

"how dare you be so happy." i shouted.
"missy what are you doing?" lexi smiled.

"your all happy, smiling while others like me are here struggling to get themselves out of bed and feed themselves let alone look after their little sister and on top of that their bestfriends just died. your brother and your bestfriend just died, have some respect."

i watched her face drop into regret as she turned away and hugged riz, there was a huge crowd around us and everybody expected fights whenever i was involved. i looked her up and down and stormed away, i couldn't be in school, not today, not ever.

"missy wait, are you alright?" nas ran at her.
"i'm fine nasreen, go back to school."
"not without you, please missy." she asked.
"i'm going to see ava, come if you want."

nas smiled at me, i couldn't help but feel a smile creep onto my face, i felt terrible but i guess i have to be happy sometimes. we talked the whole way to their graves, we talked about mental health, how school was getting on, tests, teacher gossip, until it fell dead silent when we were infront of them.

"i miss her so much nas." i broke down.
"we all do, i do, we have to be strong."

"i'm gonna try be happy, it's what she would want." i smiled at nasreen for the first time.
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*third person!!*
it's been over 10 years since that day, missy passed all her gsces and managed to go to college, everything she did she always told ava it was for her. missy was as happy as she could have ever been, her scars faded away and she chucked away anything that could harm her like that again. she finally married her soulmate aaron and the two still lived down that road with nas and her family still next door, missy now had two kids and named the girl ava and the boy jordan.