The ass that smiles back.

Him?.....Her? Pronouns!

I'm alive? What? Hello?

I flutter my eyes open and then I see this kid named Billy on my ceiling.  He has a name tag on his mouth that's how I know his name! I don't know if he was for sale or not but I just left him hanging up there. I sit up and look around and let out a boxy fart, my room was dark like always, only having this little window exposing some sunlight- sunlight for Billy and maybe for me. Actually, mostly for Billy because the sunlight reaches the spot on the ceiling where he hangs onto?
I look at my phone and check the many notifications I get from Tinder, I think to myself: "wow, I must be really hot" but then I open the notifications and they were just those bots telling me if I wanted coochie.
....
What if I don't want coochie? What happens then, do I get abducted?
No, I can't get abducted... people are scared of asians where I live haha I forgot!
Anyway, I go to Instagram and check my DM's to see if my friend texted me a simple "hi" or "good morning!"
I couldn't believe my eyes.
They texted,

"hi, good morning!"

what.