I Didn't Even Think

Chapter Two

“Why did this happen,” my fragile words caught the wind and blew away. I didn’t expect an answer, but I mourned for one. Why would this happen to me? What had I done? Was this my fault? One question led to another, all without answers. They slivered through my brain like worms, eating what was left of it.

The steams of water that had once rolled down my cheeks were now frozen. The cold dark winter had begun in my body. Each brisk wind whispered for Papa, and cut into my heart. Soon winter would end, the sun will rise, but I knew the cuts would still be there.

The sun was now above me. Anger bled from Mason’s body. He trudged along the path, his hooves digging into the gravel. He slammed his feet down hard leaving an imprint of his existence.

Though, we shared the same thought, anger had not yet set in. I felt weak instead, and as fragile as glass. How was Jared doing? This question seemed to cut deeper into my heart. The answer worried me, I didn’t know it but still, it worried me. He’s too young to lose his father, who’s going to teach how to throw a football, or hunt, or grill? I knew Ryce was out the question.

The sun poured over the edges of my house. But I knew soon the moon would appear and dark skies would emerge. I shut Mason into his stable and trudged towards the house. Everything seemed different. With Papa gone, the night felt erie and dangerous. I gently walked  up the path, goose bumps had scaled my skin. I rushed to the door. I swear I felt eyes on my back.

“Is he gone?” Jared stared up at me, his lip quivering. He knew the answer. “No, he cant be gone. He just can’t!” his voice was shaky; he was as confused as I was.

“Jared,” I reached out to hug him. He pulled away; I could see the flames in his eyes.

 “No! Don’t touch me.” His voice was now raised, oozing of anger. “You’re going to turn on me too!”

“No, I wou-“

“Liar!” He fought though his tears. I couldn’t argue with him. I would never turn him in to the government like some had done to Papa, but I couldn’t yell at him. I knew his heart would crumble. I was Papa now. The task was not meant to be mine, but Ryce couldn’t do it. “Well say something!”

“Jared, I will never, ever, ever turn you in, no matter what.” The words seem to sooth him. “I love you little squirt.” He smiled at that, he always did. I ruffled his hair, it tickled between my fingers.

“What is going on here?” Ryces voice exploded in my ears, an alarm sounded in my body. Jared’s smile deflated, I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

 “ Jared, go get ready for bed.  I’ll be there soon.”  He looked up at me, his face flooded with concern. “Go,” I mouthed to him. He nodded and started up the stairs. Ryce waited until he was out of sight.

“ He’s supposed to feel the pain,” Ryces words squirted out with anger. “ Do you want him to make weapons too? To end up like that, that monster?”

“ First of all, his name is Papa. And second, pain is not a good thing.” My words seem to bounce off his body.

“That monster could have ruined our perfect community. If he grows up like Papa, he will be killed him to.” I flinched at the word kill. I couldn’t imagine Jared on the slab. It scared me to even think about it.

“ Our community isn’t perfect! People die for no reason every day. Is that a perfect community?” Even though Ryce was usually predictable, I didn’t know what his answer would be.

“If it is the community we live in now, then yes.” His answer was so pathetic, I rolled my eyes. He took affiance to this every time. Anger bubbled up inside of him, he muttered something under his breath and left.

I looked to the mirror on the wall and my face started to unravel. I didn’t know what was Ryces problem was. It troubled me to think about. What was it? There was no reasoning behind his words or actions. I pursed my lips, but something caught my eye. A figure outside of the house feed from the house into the night. The figure was too wide to be Jared, Ryce or Mama.

But there, smashed against the window, was a note. I slowly stalked up to it, my eyes reading over the words:

Come to the Beach in five minutes

Its about your Papa

Im so sorry I have to do this so soon...

but its important.

My eyes hung on the words Papa, my heartbeat began to rang in my ears.

It’s about Papa and it’s important. Without giving myself time to talk me out of it, I slide the window open and disappeared into the brush.