27 (Harry Styles)

002. WATCHING MOVIES WITH THE SOUND OFF

  
I sip on my straw as I start The Notebook on Netflix, the lack of lighting gave the big screen of my television a luminescent glow. I remember watching this exact movie with him, and although we've watched this movie so many times, we'd still be a crying mess by the time the movie had completed. I thought he was used to it, but no, the film still gets to him. Watching the movie was biter sweet, because it made me remember all of the good times between us, and how close we were. On the opposite hand, it reminded me that things were never the same after he left to compete in the X Factor.

His career skyrocketed, and although it wasn't his fault or choice, he had to leave everyone back home behind. Including me. I squinted my eyes as my vision started to get a bit blurry. I placed my drink on the coffee table beside me and grabbed the remote control before exiting the movie.

Missing Harry wasn't going to make him randomly visit home, so there was simply no point in missing his presence. I got up from my seat and poured myself a glass of champagne as another random movie began to play, although I didn't bother to give it any attention. There were barely any dialogues thrown; it was slightly dull, but it was historical, and I was able to learn more about new things. It's just that the accents bother me. I miss hearing those. Mine had faded quite a bit since Harry left.

Halfway through the movie, I saw a familiar face, one I wasn't expecting to see. He was swimming, then the camera switched angles to show that he was struggling to swim back up. I realized what movie I was watching sooner than later, and figured out it was the one he starred in. His acting debut, Dunkirk. It was a beautiful movie, wonderfully made. Despite however good it was, it didn't make me feel good. In fact, it made my night worse. I didn't like to see him struggle in the water, although I'd seen this movie so many times before.

Why was it affecting me so much now, all of the sudden ? It was a painful sight to see; in fact it was very scary. I would never want to see him in that position, and someway, somehow, I needed some reassurance that he was fine. Doing well. A friendly check up, if you will. I really think it's the champagne talking. I picked up my phone from the coffee table and flicked my nail across the screen until I somehow magically found his name in a matter of what seemed like seconds, like a second nature.

I quickly typed in a concise message for him.

hey harry, i'm watching dunkirk right now, and it just made me think to check on you. how are things going ? - Maggie

Was that stupid to say? It was. I slammed my phone onto the table out of embarrassment and forced myself to do something instead of waiting for him to text me back. He was probably too busy, anyways.
He had to be, after all he had released a sophomore album. He was probably with all of his Los Angeles friends doing press interviews. To say that I wasn't waiting for him to reply as I sit and watch and sip is a colossal lie. I want him to reply to that simple message. I want to see if he still cared enough to respond to me.

Suddenly, my phone lit up. I immediately grabbed my phone and looked at the brightly lit screen. Nevermind, it's someone else. I was acting totally foolish. I threw the phone beside me, too drunk to care if it hit the floor or cracked. No big deal. I was so impressed as I watch him as Alex, especially at this part where he's so angry. It was so out of Harrys character, and I found it almost attractive in a strange way. But no, it was Harry. My childhood friend, not a crush or love interest. Our parents were best friends, neighbors. Alex was something different.

Perhaps I was just attracted to Alex. That had to be it. They were like two totally different people. Harry and Alex weren't the same, it's simple. They even looked different. He acted like an asshole. Alex is an asshole. I felt proud, I guess. I just never thought he would really go into acting as well. He never showed much interest growing up, but I suppose people change. He's a great actor nonetheless. He's very good at acting like someone he's not.

Hey, Mags. Good to hear from you, it's been a while. I'm doing well, and I hope the same for you. How's it going back home? - Harry

My heart dropped as I saw my phone flash below me. I read the text from the lock screen and sat in silence. I muted the television in order to think properly. Watching movies with the sound off was a strange thing, but it allowed me to think better. I loved the way Harry called me by a nickname nobody else called me. Mags. It felt so intimate, so raw, even after all of these years.

How would I reply? How was I? I didn't know how to answer that question.

missing you, of course. i truly do wish you'd come back home. it's been a while, and it's not the same without you. - Maggie

I typed out quickly then deleted it just as fast. I had a problem with oversharing when I was drunk. Harry would know that, and then he would stop answering. He'd assume I was drunk and didn't want to speak to him anyways, but that was far from the truth.

i'm alright, thanks for asking. congrats on your new album, by the way. i've listened to a couple of the songs and they're truly amazing. - Maggie

That wasn't too strange, right? Harry would accept that as normal. It wasn't like me to long for his acceptance. Practically beg for it. It was the champagne talking, once again. I cared for him, but not to that extent.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoy the film, as well. - Harry.

His responses made me blush just reading them. His kindness showed.

the film is wonderful, it's really great, actually. it's not the first time i've seen it but i figured this time i should text you and see how things are going. - Maggie

Shit. Look who was oversharing, once again. I looked back at the television. Harrys role in the film had passed, and the camera angle switched to some other guys that I couldn't possibly care less about.

I appreciate it, really. By the way, I'm actually heading to London next week for an interview. Care to meet me for lunch or something? - Harry

Lunch? How could I pass that up. It was what I'd really texted him for, anyways. To see him. To hug him. To be able to catch up and see how tall he'd grown. It had been a solid year or two since I'd seen him last, and it truly did hurt.

lunch sounds amazing, thanks for the invite. just tell me when and where, and i'll be there :) - Maggie

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