The Girl Who Kept fighting

Prologe

Lilliana's POV

"I want to grow up." My 5 year old self says to my mum.
———
"I want to be 5 again." I say to myself in the mirror, looking at the pills in my hand.

What's the point. There's no amount of joy in one moment that can bring me enough happiness, to believe that there is a future waiting for me.

How can a 14 year old feel like this, how can people be so cruel to make me, what to die. To make anyone else want to die for that matter.

Once I swallow these pills, it means, no more bullying, physical and mental, no more using  a blade, no more having to feel like a burden, it means no more pain. No more having to live up to expectations. That's all I what and more.

I made sure to do this when nobody was home, mom's at Hunter's soccer game and dad's at work.

I take a deep breath, place my hand near my mouth and say "Goodbye," I swallow the pills, hoping that it will work.

(A.N I don't know how to describe an overdose so, don't hate on me if this sound bad.)

I don't feel pain, just an odd feeling in my body, I don't know how to explain it, my vision goes blurry, everything starts going black, I hear some shouting,, dad? But I can't find out because soon I slip out of all things real and I'm gone.

———
I hear voices. What the fuck!? How am I hearing voices, I should be dead, I should be done of this world. I try to open my eyes, I try to at least move my finger tips or my toes, nothing works. I still here the voices.

"Mr Hale, I know so much has happened in the pay few days, your wife and son was terrible, terrible accident, and having to find your daughter like that, it absolutely saddening, but you need to calm down." A woman says in a calm voice.

Wait, dad? What does she mean, terrible accident with my mom and brother. Oh god please tell me they are alright.

I try to open my eyes again. Dammit this is so frustrating I can't do anything.

I try again, finally, I open my eyes but they sting form the sudden bright light shining in my eyes.

"D-d-ughhh," I try to form some sort of English but it's no luck. I start panicking, why can't I talk. Oh right you fucking idiot, you haven't done anything for few days because I tried to die. Good going Lilliana.

"Lilliana, Lilly!" My dad panics. "Oh thank god you're alive, I was so worried. Oh Lilliana, Hunter and mom, t-they got into a crash on the way home, just after I found you. They, they didn't survive, oh honey I'm so sorry I put this on you so fast. But it's okay, we will get through this as a family."

What? Mom and Hunter, are dead? This can't be. WHAT THE FUCK. Why couldn't I just die, why couldn't it be successful.

"They're d-dead?" I choke out, I'm already on the verge of tears and I haven't even been awake for 10 minutes.

"Yes, they were rushing after I told them how I found you." When he told them about me, it's my fault they died, why do I have to be such a stuff up.

"Lilliana, I'm Dr Lang, I've been monitoring you for the past week. I just have a few check ups and then you can go home." The doctor says.

Home, it's not really home if mom and Hunter aren't there.

——
Dr Lang, did the checkups, and I am better than I was a week ago,  so she said I could go, she also recommended me to a therapist and wants me to go to a psych ward, but my dad said we will think about it.

We are pulling up to the driveway now. I'm still shaken up about the recent events, I've been crying since I found out it was my fault they died.

Dad parks the car and I get out, ready to run to my room and shut everyone out, but he stops me.

"It's your fault they are dead Lilliana, if you weren't so selfish, they'd still be here, I always thought you were a fuck up." He yells at me. I wait where did this come from?

"OUCH!" I yell when I feels throbbing pain in my left cheek. It takes me a moment to register, my win father punched me. I run, as fast as I can back to my room, and lock the door, hoping, that he doesn't come in.

Why did he do that? He never had ever laid a hand on his family, until now.

I hear a banging on my door. Shit, that's him.

"Lilly, I'm sorry, I'm just ridden with grief, and I let it out on you. I'm sorry, I'll never touch you again." He pleads with me.

"I forgive you." I say, believing the sick fuck.

I don't know why I believed him, I should've run, i should've told someone, I should've done something, just to save my life for the years to come.

Because it was going to be be hell, and I was going to feel worse than I ever have before.

-
A.N
First chapter, sorry it's short, I hope you liked it, nobody will probably even read this but, oh well.

If you think in anyway way shape or form this is good, please vote, comments and other stuff.

Bye, I'll try update a few chapters tomorrow.

This Chapter- 950 words